


Take Me To Your Arms

by nekofreakz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-14
Updated: 2011-11-25
Packaged: 2017-10-26 02:04:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/277407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekofreakz/pseuds/nekofreakz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War with Voldemort ended at Harry's sixth year. This story is about Harry Potter's seventh year as he struggles with school and his position as Head of 'certain' Ministry Department. Contains Slash pairing, SS/HP -Hiatus-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Special Thanks to My Lovely Beta, Mirai Kurosaki**

~*~

 **Prologue**

Summer holiday was over and Harry was expected to go back to Hogwarts to finish his seventh year. Instead of feeling relieved or happy, he was feeling miserable. For him, Hogwarts was always the closest thing to a home. _No,_ he mused.It still was.But somehow, after all the recent happenings, everything was falling out of place. It wasn’t Hogwarts itself but rather, himself that had changed. He was no longer the same innocent boy that had first attended Hogwarts so many years ago.

In his sixth year, Harry had defeated Voldemort. He was helped by the members of The Order of Phoenix, including, surprisingly, Severus Snape—a person that he had never given his trust to. When Snape was dying, he gave Harry his Pensieve which contained memories that revealed his loyalty to Dumbledore, The Order, and the reason behind Snape’s action. The memories revealed through the Pensieve that Snape was motivated by his lifelong love for Lily and his regret over his action that lead Lily to her death.

Harry had been reluctant to leave that man dying alone in the Shrieking Shack. Having run back to Hogwarts, he had summoned a certain house-elf to the dying man. Many believe Snape should have died with the severe wounds he had but somehow that man survived. Actually, Severus Snape’s survival was something akin to a miracle according to Madam Pomfrey. Harry highly suspected that Dobby might have had something to do with it.

Then came the trials for the Death Eaters that had been captured. As one of them, Snape had to attend as well. In that trial, Harry had given his testimony of Snape being a double agent, using Snape’s Pensieve as proof, thus saving Snape’s fate from Azkaban while securing his position as headmaster of Hogwarts.

In turn, Snape began to tolerate Harry’s presence. When Snape had met him in The Ministry two days ago, he didn’t utter insult to Harry. Harry decided that was a positive thing. He wouldn’t expect Snape to sing him any praises.

 _Yeah, like Snape would ever do that. It’s easier for trolls to fly first,_ he thought.

The war simply changed everything. His relationship with Ginny bore the brunt of it. After her brother’s death, Ginny became more and more dependant on Harry. Even though he never said it to anybody, he suffered the same scar that everyone bore. He was no hero; there were too many deaths on his hands.

Nightmares came around very often. It was tormenting him day by day. There were enough personal problems to handle, let alone Ginny’s. Their relationship ended one month ago. Ginny blamed him for not caring about her anymore. He didn’t even deny anything; he just accepted it.

 _Some part of me even felt relieved,_ he thought guiltily.

There was some change in the power structure of The Ministry. Arthur Weasley was chosen as Minister for Magic. The New Minister had quickly investigated all Departments in The Ministry. It had been found out that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which supervised Aurors, was corrupted. So this Department was the first Department in The Ministry that got dissolved by the newly appointed Minister for Magic. Therefore, it was decided to establish a new department which called Department of Magical Defense.

Everyone in the Ministry had unanimously agreed that Harry Potter was the most suitable candidate for the position as Head of Defense. But Harry thought it was impossible for him to do so since he was only a sixth year student. Besides, there were so many senior candidates that were more suitable for the job. He had tried to refuse, but they insisted that it would help restore society’s trust in The Ministry if he took the position.

He decided if he couldn’t refuse it, then he would take active part in it. He refused to be another pawn. He got Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody and Severus Snape as advisors. Moody was the perfect choice. As the former Auror, he was the only one who knew most about Aurors. But Harry also needed Severus Snape because, despite everyone’s objection, he thought Snape was very capable of it. That man was proficient at Dark Arts. Moreover, Snape had his cunning way with politics and he had many informative resources. He also had a sharp mind and he never glossed over the truth.

 _That’s one thing I like about him and he’s quite a nice companion when he decides not to be such a bastard,_ Harry thought.

 **End of Prologue**


	2. Chapter 2

**Special Thanks to My Lovely Beta, Mirai Kurosaki**

~*~

 **Chapter 1**

Harry was late for his first day in Hogwarts because of some meetings within The Ministry. He and Snape had to hurry right away via the Floo Network from The Ministry to Hogwarts. Harry patted some dust from his clothes and gave a small nod to Snape—who stood two feet away—before leaving the Headmaster’s room. He was going straight to The Great Hall since it was lunch time.

XxXxX

Harry was standing near the door of The Great Hall. It was bursting with students—a good sign. When Voldemort had returned last year, many had removed their children from Hogwarts. Recently though, parents had begun to send their children back to Hogwarts.

Some upper-class students noticed Harry and started whispering to each other, leaving the first year students confused. Harry fought the urge to clasp his hand over his forehead.

 _The scar vanished when Voldemort died,_ he reminded himself. He was glad his final battle with Voldemort erased the scar. At least, now, most people didn’t recognize him on the street. He didn’t like to attract more attention. It always made him feel uncomfortable and he couldn’t get used to it even after all these years.

There was also a small number of Slytherins sitting at their usual table. Most of sixth years had been captured, along with a few younger years, for their involvement with Voldemort. Harry felt some sympathy for them, especially for the ones that didn’t have any choice but to follow in their parents’ steps as Death Eaters.

 _I don’t have anything in me to hate them right now. Too much destruction has already happened,_ he thought glumly.

All of the Slytherins were grouped around Draco Malfoy—dubbed The Slytherin Prince. Malfoy looked at him then and gave him a small nod, acknowledging his presence. Harry gave back a nod to him. They had finally reached an understanding. Even though Harry still couldn’t call him a friend, they had gone to a neutral zone and he intended to make the best of it _._

Harry had given his testimony for Malfoy as well after having seen Snape’s Pensieve. So instead of sending the young man straight to Azkaban, The Trial had decided to put Malfoy on house arrest until it was decided that he wasn’t a danger to society. Now, since the new semester at Hogwarts had started, it changed into: Draco Malfoy was prohibited from leave school grounds until further notice.

 _Slytherins will survive as long as they have Malfoy and Snape,_ Harry thought.

"Oy, mate, over here!" called someone. Harry turned his head to look at the tall, red-haired young man standing at the end of Gryffindor table with his slender brown-haired, female companion at his side.

“Ron, ‘Mione,” Harry said with a smile. He was happy to see his best friends since his first year at Hogwarts. He rarely saw any of them this summer due to his work in The Ministry.

“Harry, come on, we saved you a seat,” said Hermione, gesturing to the space beside Ron. Harry walked toward them and sat down beside Ron.

“Mate, you should try this one! It’s really good!” Ron said happily while pointing to a basket of baked chicken. A seventh year girl who sat beside Ron cringed and scooted away when bits of food went flying down from Ron’s mouth when he spoke to Harry.

“Ugh, Ron, stop talking with your mouth full of food. That’s disgusting!” said Hermione with a frown. Ron didn’t say anything back to Hermione. He just grinned and went back to his food.

“Really, you’re impossible!” said Hermione. Harry was smiling, amused by his friend’s antics. Some things never changed. It was almost like this was their ritual every meal time.

Hermione diverted her gaze from Ron to Harry. She noticed that Harry was paler than usual. “Are you okay, Harry? You looks so pale,” said Hermione, worriedly

“I’m okay, ‘Mione. I just skipped breakfast, nothing serious,” said Harry, trying to convince her that he was alright. It wasn’t surprising that he was so pale. He was aware that he also had bloodshot eyes. Nightmares had kept him awake most of the night; he rarely got any sleep nowadays.

Hermione went into what was called Mother Hen Mode by Ron. She was muttering about the stupid The Ministry official under her breath, while snatching Harry’s plate before piling a lot of food on it.

“Here, eat it all! Make sure you finish it,” said Hermione as she placed the plate on the table in front of Harry. Harry thanked her and started eating his lunch while Ron kept chattering. Harry barely heard the conversation, only mumbling yes or no occasionally.

XxXxX

Time passed on and Harry barely noticed it. By the time they got into the boy’s dorm in Gryffindor tower, it was already night. Ron was mumbling a good night before promptly passing out in his bed. Harry exchanged the remark then crawled into his own bed. Sleep didn’t come easily. He lay silent for a while before he fell asleep.

 _Harry felt blood stain his hands. A high pitch scream was filling the air. There were so many corpses strewn on the ground. He knew who did all of this. Evil stood in front of him. Instead of Voldemort, he recognized a face so familiar—a face he saw every morning, his face. He had sworn that he would never become like Voldemort. Yet, he broke his own promise. And he fell deeper and deeper into the endless darkness._

Harry jolted awake. He was in Hogwarts, more specifically, in his Gryffindor dorm, soaked in sweat. Nights like this, Harry just wanted to turn back to the time where he was still a mere innocent boy. But he knew that it was just a false hope. He threw the blanket away before he got up from the bed, snatched his broom “Red Comet”,and rushed out of the room.

Harry quickly opened the Gryffindor’s portrait, The Fat Lady, and walked to the nearest window. He got on his broom and took off. He flew for hours in the darkness until the sun rose. It wasn’t until then did he get down and returned to the dorm.

XxXxX

Days passed by like a mundane habit for Harry. Nightmares came almost every night. He slowly became detached from Ron and Hermione. They were still the best friends he ever had but juggling school and his job at The Ministry was very hard to do, especially with little sleep. Hermione had pointed out that he looked pale and had bags under his eyes. He tried to take sleeping pills or potions but those had little effect on his condition and, if anything, made him sick.

XxXxX

Harry gasped for breath. He was woken up by another nightmare. He didn’t take the broom this time as he went out the Gryffindor dorm. He was so tired that he was in no mood to fly.

 _I need to walk it out. I need some fresh air_ , Harry thought. He was walking through the stairs when he suddenly collapsed. The first thing that he realized as he drifted back into consciousness was that someone was shouting at him. The second were the firm, warm arms wrapped around him.

“If you try to kill yourself, you’d better not try it in my presence, boy!” said someone angrily.

Harry blinked his eyes. It was almost pitch black without the lights on but he did recognize that voice nonetheless.

 _Oh, yes I do_ , he thought. He really had rotten luck. Of all people he had to stumble into, it had to be Snape. He tried to straighten his body but his legs wouldn’t work. Harry stood limply, supported by Snape’s arms.

“I’m sorry, Professor,” he mumbled.

“Potter!” said Snape, startled. Apparently, the man didn’t expect the boy in front of him was Harry Potter. Harry felt his body falling down when the arms that had been supporting him suddenly disappeared.

 _Shit!_ he thought, filled with dread. Fortunately for him, he fell down head first into the nearest object—Snape’s warm chest.

“Potter, what the hell-!” hissed Snape angrily. Harry mumbled an apology again. Familiar arms came back to hold him straight.

 _Warm, very warm_ , he thought absentmindedly. When the darkness crept back in, he embraced it.

XxXxX

Harry opened his eyes slowly. He was laying on something warm and comfortable.

 _Where am I?_

It seemed he was on a big bed with black sheets and matching comforter. There was a soft glow from the lamp beside the bed. Harry sat up on the bed and tried to remember.

 _Right, the last thing…Snape_ , he thought. Harry was starting to feel embarrassed at the memory. But that feeling didn’t last for long. He looked curiously around the room. It was almost bare except for a big black wardrobe at the end of the room and a pair of tables beside the bed.

 _Lovely, all black. How depressing. How very Snape. I’ll bet this must be his room_ , he thought. _But, he did have a comfortable bed_

The door suddenly opened, revealing the owner of the bedroom. For once, Snape was looking at him worriedly. That man didn’t even bother to put on his indifference face. Harry got the urge to raise his eyebrow at the unusual display of affection. But it wouldn’t do any good to aggravate the man, especially after deciding to not leave Harry lying on the floor of the stairs.

 _It’s more befitting of him if he had left me on the floor,_ Harry thought.

“Potter, what the hell is wrong with you?!” asked the man.

Harry blinked. _What is wrong with me? Actually, nothing right now. I feel better than I have for months_. _Maybe, I just needed a comfortable bed?_

“Are you ignoring me, boy?!” barked Snape. He was glaring at Harry now.

“Sorry Professor, I got distracted. I’m just surprised that you care about me,” replied Harry, aware that the man was starting to get annoyed at him. Snape used to hate him simply because he was James Potter’s son. It was difficult to change what had been ingrained for years.

However Snape’s reaction raised his curiosity. Snape was really flustered by Harry’s statement. That man had slipped out of his usual uncaring façade. He tried to cover it now by glaring at Harry. That almost made Harry smile.

 _So you do have a heart, Professor_ , he thought, amused by Snape’s reaction.

Harry got off from the bed and started to walk to the door, careful to avoid Snape, who stood near it. He flashed Snape a bright smile, something he never did for the man.

“Well then, excuse me, Professor. I have bothered you enough for tonight,” Harry said sincerely. “Thank you for your help.” He decided to get out of Snape’s private residence before the man got his wits back and decided to skin him alive.

Harry quickly escaped Snape’s room, located in the dungeon, while the man recovered from his odd behavior. Instead of living in the Headmaster’s quarter, it seemed that Snape was more comfortable living in his old Potions Master’s room.

 _It seems old habits die hard, eh, Professor?_ He thought smugly.

XxXxX

The first person that caught him back in the dorm was Ron. To his best friend, Harry never spent his night out of the dorm since the beginning of the semester. Harry was always careful to come back to the dorm before anyone woke up because he would hate to have his best friends worry about him. Today, it was his first time to mess that up.

 _What a fine mess. It didn’t matter as long as I got some sleep,_ Harry thought happily. He decided to ignore Ron, only giving him a mysterious smile that made Ron pester him for the remainder of the day.

“Come on, mate, spill it! Who was the lucky girl?” teased Ron. The red-head had even stooped so low as to threaten Harry with blackmail; Ron insisted he’d spread the word as to what Harry used as underwear. Harry just replied that he would do the same if Ron went with his plan. Besides, Harry only wore plain-old boxers—nothing to be excited about.

 _If only you knew, Ron,_ he thought amusedly.

Even though Ron kept pestering him all day, it didn’t put a damper on his mood. Any other day Ron did that, he might have already cursed him.

 **End of Chapter 1**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

Unfortunately all good things must came to an end. Nightmares came back when Harry slept. After three sleep-deprived days, he was desperate enough to cast a Killing Curse on someone to get some sleep.

 _No, maybe not killed, but I would do some serious bodily harm,_ he thought darkly.

He really hoped he wouldn’t start at it with Ron. The red-haired young man was being really annoying today. Ron kept pestering Harry because Hermione had locked herself in the library, studying for N.E.W.T. (Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests)—a final exam that all seventh year students had to take. Of course, she swore to score perfectly at every subject.

“Mate, are you not getting any from her?” teased Ron, who had no suspicions about Harry’s condition.

“What?!” snapped Harry. He wasn’t in any mood to be playful or be teased. Those full-of-angst days had come back.

Ron was shocked by the strong reaction from Harry. He patted Harry’s shoulder awkwardly.

“Look, I don’t mean any offense, mate. Just go apologize to her or something. I don’t like seeing you like this,” said Ron.

Harry had been talking via grunts since yesterday. Today, he growled at anyone who tried to include him in a conversation.

“I don’t have any girl-” growled Harry but stopped in the middle of his speech.

 _It might be an unsuccessful attempt but not bad idea, Ron,_ he thought. Harry eyes got a glint in them. He came to this conclusion; if sleep wouldn’t come to him, then he would get it himself.

He pounded the back of Ron’s shoulder. “You are a genius, Ron! Thanks!” said Harry with a tired smile.

“Yeah, I guess,” said Ron, unsure how to comment to his best friend’s sudden change of heart.

Harry waited until the lunch was over before he snuck to the dungeon. Fortunately, almost everyone was going to class now except the seventh years. Despite popular belief, Slytherins didn’t really enjoy spending all their time in the dungeon so he only encountered some Slytherins as he went down there.

Before long, he was standing in front of Snape’s room, which wasn’t too far from the Slytherin dorm. He took out his wand and used a curse-testing spell. It detected ten different kinds of curses and three layers of defense charms.

 _He must be really paranoid_ , he thought. Even after the demise of Voldemort, which broke Harry’s link with the Dark Lord, Harry was still a strong wizard and he had been exclusively trained by Snape and Moody. While it wasn’t easy to tweak and bend the curses and charms, it could be done.

Harry finished half-hour later. _I hope this was worth all the trouble. The old bat will kill me if he notices,_ he sighed.

Harry opened the door and sneaked in carefully. After all, who knows what traps laid behind this door? One shouldn’t be so gullible, knowing that Severus Snape was a very wicked man.

After making sure nothing went wrong, Harry got into the bedroom. He kicked his shoes off then crawled into the bed. As he laid his head on the pillow, sweet drowsiness came.

He sighed happily into the pillow and went to sleep without any difficulty. Nightmares didn’t come to haunt him. It proved his theory that a comfortable bed was really important.

XxXxX

Harry was careful to remove any signs of his presence in Snape’s quarter.

 _To keep sneaking to his bed is really important in keeping me sane. Being sane is good,_ Harry defended himself. _The only difficulty is to keep my face neutral around Snape. I’m sure he won’t be happy to know that I’ve been sneaking to his bed._

“Potter, were you even listening to what I said?! Throw off that stupid grin from your face!” barked Snape.

Harry casted his eyes down, horrified. _I’ve been grinning?!_ He panicked. This afternoon, he was having a meeting with Snape in The Headmaster’s Office. It was about The Ministry’s work. There was some problem with the lower Auror force about Improper Use of the Unforgiveable Curses.

Harry forced himself to put on a calm façade and reached for a cup of tea on the table.

 _Calm down, Harry, he doesn’t know anything._

He was sipping on the tea when Snape spoke again.

“I need your mind out of the gutter, Potter! Stop daydreaming over that girlfriend of yours!” Snape sneered.

Harry had almost sprayed all the tea onto the table. He tried to swallow it but failed miserably and started coughing. Tea was dripping onto his lower jaw. The cough felt painful and made his eyes water.

Snape was making an impatient sound. “You’re such a child, Potter!” Snape scowled at him.

Snape lifted Harry’s chin with one hand before wiping his face roughly with a cloth.

 _Where did he get that?_ Harry thought absentmindedly.

Harry found himself looking straight into Snape’s eyes. The man’s eyes were a deep black, but not dull. He had brilliant eyes. _Like a black diamond._ It could be cold and hard, unforgiving. But at times like this, when the man’s guard was down, Harry could see a glimmer of worry in them.

 _They’re so beautiful._ Harry felt an alarming tightness in his chest. _I could fall into them forever._

Harry felt his face heated up.

 _Merlin’s beard, no, no, I didn’t just think that about Snape!_ he thought horrified. He smacked Snape’s hands away and got up from the chair, far from Snape.

“I—er—I don’t feel good today, professor. We will discuss this later,” Harry stammered.

Harry ran off from the meeting room without waiting for Snape’s answer. Harry decided on a run around the Quidditch field, devoting hours to it until he slumped in the ground from exhaustion.

 _What am I going to tell Snape later for suddenly backing out like that? Or worse, how am I supposed to meet him again? I can’t believe I thought about him like that! Better to avoid him for some time._

XxXxX

When Harry decided to came back to his dorm, it was already dark. Hermione was waiting for him at the door. She looked like she had been standing there for hours.

“Harry, you’ve come back! Where have you been? Professor Snape has been searching for you since afternoon!” said Hermione, worriedly.

“I was at the Quidditch field, ‘Mione,” said Harry, tiredly.

He kept his eyes down, fighting some hysteria that kept bubbling up. _Bloody hell, I just thought the old bat’s eyes were beautiful! I’m losing my mind!!_

“That was so irresponsible, Harry! You were supposed to discuss important things with him today!” Hermione chided him.

Harry just shrugged and started to walk to boy’s dorm.

“Harry! Wait!” said Hermione. She grabbed his hand.

“What, ‘Mione? I’m not really in the mood for this,” Harry said, frustrated.

She frowned then gave him a note, which Harry accepted. Harry’s stomach flipped when he opened it.

-Potter, my office 8 p.m-

Harry cursed loudly. No need to guess who wrote the memo. Now he didn’t even have to guess if Snape believed his excuse.

“Harry!” reproved Hermione. She was shocked by the crude words that Harry had uttered.

“Please, just tell him I’m sick, ‘Mione,” said Harry. Hermione looked like she was going to give Harry a long speech about irresponsible behavior.

Harry begged, “Please, ‘Mione. Just—just tell him to do what he thinks is appropriate for the matters.”

Hermione looked at Harry, sensing distress from him. For once, she gave up.

“Just this time. I won’t repeat it, understand Harry?” said Hermione with a sigh.

Harry nodded, “Thanks ‘Mione.”

XxXxX

After that incident, Harry started avoiding Snape like a plague. He wouldn’t go to The Ministry or Snape’s office. He even went as far as not attending Potions lessons since Snape was still teaching it until Hogwarts got a new professor.

He also avoided having meals in The Great Hall. Harry got his meal from a house-elf in the kitchen. Every time Hermione and Ron asked his reason for avoiding Snape, he just stayed silent. Eventually, they got tired and didn’t ask about it anymore.

XxXxX

Harry had just walked out of the kitchen with a tray full of foods. He planned to eat it in the Gryffindor dorm. He didn’t see the shadow moving out of the wall behind him.

“Immobulus!” said that shadow with wand pointed at Harry’s back.

Harry became frozen in place by the spell. The tray and its contents fell to the floor with a noisy sound.

 _Snape!_ He thought with a dreadful feeling.

Snape came closer to Harry, who stood awkwardly. When Snape groped his front robe in search for his wand, Harry’s eyes were so wide in alarm that they almost popped out their sockets. Harry could only relax again after Snape seized out his wand and put it safely in his own robe.

He waved his wand to Harry once again and put up another spell, this time was a Levitation Charm.

Harry’s body began floating and started following Snape, who led the way. They went into the Headmaster’s office. Snape set Harry in a chair and bound him to the chair with rope which magically gushed out from the tip of the man's wand.

“Ooh, kinky aren’t you Severus,” said one of the Headmaster’s painting. Severus whipped his wand to the painting.

“Silencio! GET OUT ALL OF YOU!!” snarled Severus. “ I’ll burn every single one that stay!”

All the paintings quickly emptied with the exception of Dumbledore’s painting, which had gone on vacation.

Even the stupidest man would know to avoid Snape when he was burning with anger. Snape wasn’t kidding on his threat. He never was. One pissed off Severus Snape was highly dangerous; someone that you wouldn’t want to cross.

While some little sane part of Harry were screaming at him to run away, the other, bigger, part was thinking something utterly different.

 _I’m a hopeless fool. All that I can think is that he has such a lovely voice._

“You’d better start talking now, Potter! Finite Incantatem,” Snape growled, cancelling all the spells he had put on Harry.

“This is a crime, Professor,” said Harry with a calm voice or, at least, his best personification of a calm voice that he hoped wouldn’t crack before all of this ended.

Harry was tired with contradicting himself so he began to accept that some part of him wouldn’t stay quiet about Snape now matter what. _Sure, he got beautiful eyes and a lovely voice, so what?_

Snape was seething now. He looked like he might breathe out fire anytime now.

 _I might get my eyeballs scraped out by him anytime now or have my nails plucked out one by one._

Harry couldn’t help remembering some old gangster movie that he had partially seen when he was helping Aunt Petunia in the kitchen.

“If you really hate me, Potter, why do you even bother to pick me as your advisor?!” snapped Snape. The man was standing so close that Snape’s voice made his ears ring.

Harry sighed, _There is no way to avoid this problem no matter what_. So, he braced himself and looked straight at Snape.

“If only that was the problem, it would make my day easier,” said Harry ruefully.

“What do you mean by that, Potter? Explain it!” Snape frowned.

 _I wonder how he would look without a frown in his face…_

“Yes, I used to hate you in the past but now, no, I don’t hate you,” said Harry slowly, as if he was disturbed even just by thinking about it.

Harry could see a vein flickering horribly on Snape’s temple. It was clear that the man didn’t trust his words.

 _It means I like you a lot, Professor. If I told you that, you might run away screaming or Avada Kedavra me on the spot._

Harry thought it was more likely that Snape would choose the latter and cast the Killing Curse on him. _I don’t like to put him and me in such an uncomfortable situation but I also can’t avoid him forever._

He lied through his teeth, “I’m really sorry, Professor. I just got over my rebellious phase.”

Snape looked skeptical, his lips thinned with displeasure. _Makes me want to kiss them._

“I swear it won’t happen again! Look, how about I promise you one thing,” said Harry with sincerity. “You can ask me to do anything you want me to do as long as it won’t bring danger to my life.”

 _I’ll probably do anything to make you happy anyway,_ Harry thought as Snape contemplated.

“I can write it on paper to make it official if you want,” Harry offered, throwing some bait for the Slytherin.

 _He won’t refuse it, even if he doesn’t believe any words that I throw at him._

“I won’t tolerate such insolence again, Potter!” said Snape with a stern face.

 _Yes, hook, line, and sinker,_ Harry mused.

“I won’t do it again, professor,” said Harry. _Especially if that was making you so distressed_.

 **End of Chapter 2**

 **Special Thanks to My Lovely Beta, Mirai Kurosaki**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

Harry accepted the paper from Snape after the Headmaster untied the rope that bound him to the chair. He grasped the paper tightly and concentrated to wandlessly put his magical signature into the paper; no wand was needed to do it since it was the equivalent to a muggle signature with thumb prints.

The magic flowed out from his fingertips and hovered over the paper before it dove down and left a green-tinted spiral mark at the bottom of the page, binding him to the contract. Then, Harry gave the paper back to Snape.

“Er-- may I go now, Professor?” asked Harry nervously.

The man looked down to the now legal document, his face unreadable. Harry pleaded with him silently, _Just let me go, please_.

“Potter, why would you offer me this?” asked Snape quietly, waving the paper.

The motion hypnotized him. It made his gaze zero in on Snape’s hand. Harry never noticed that the man did have a pair of elegant hands. Those long slender fingers were perfect for potion making _. Or perfect for anything,_ he added.

Harry blinked, horrified. _Idiot! This isn’t time to think about Snape’s fingers_! He cursed himself inwardly.

“Self control, self control,” he said under his breath.

“What?” said Snape when he heard Harry mumbling to himself.

“Nothing!” he squeaked.

This earned him an eyebrow from the man. Harry forced himself to breathe normally, cold sweat trickling down on his back.

“You didn’t answer my question, Potter,” said the man silkily.

He felt panic again. He couldn’t tell the truth for sure. _You won’t like my answer. Hell, you won’t even believe it. I thought I had gone mad when I realized my feeling for you,_ he thought. _Lie, Harry. Lie for his sake._

“Because I owe you a lot. I think-- I have to pay you back,” said Harry.

Harry was very afraid that Snape was going to read his mind. He looked at the empty painting of Dumbledore like it was the most interesting thing in the world, avoiding the man’s gaze.

“Why now?” asked Snape coolly.

He groaned inwardly _, Please, I beg you_! _Don’t ask more question!_ Harry was sure he would suffer hyperventilate if he stayed longer with Snape.

“If you don’t need it, shall I take it back then?” he countered with a question.

“You avoided my question,” Snape stated crudely at him.

 _Yes, I did! Goddamn you for not letting it be!_ Harry cursed angrily.

He scowled at the man, “I don’t need to explain it to you!”

As soon as he said that, Snape glared at him furiously.

“You are so arrogant, Potter! Just like your father!” Snape sneered.

Provoked by the man’s words, he shouted loudly, “I’m not my father!”

Harry was breathing heavily. _Me and my temper_. _I didn’t mean to be rude to him. I’m such a moron!_ Harry cursed himself.

After having spent time working with Snape, Harry became aware that when Snape was hurt, he became harsher and more hateful—some kind of self-defense mechanism, perhaps. The man’s demeanor reminded him about an animal—A porcupine. _Come on, Harry,_ _just imagine that he is a porcupine, which-- isn’t an aggressive animal. It will only attack if it is threatened_. Harry drew a deep breath and exhaled. He put on his most guilty expression.

“I’m so sorry, Professor,” said Harry quietly. “Can we just forget it? It’s nothing important really.” _At least not to you._

There was uncomfortable silence. He felt the man was watching him closely, assessing his sincerity. Harry tried his best not to flinch and still avoided Snape’s eyes.

“My wand, please?” asked Harry and quickly added politely, “Sir?” _I have to get away from him now before I start babbling about my feeling like a fool or do worse._

Snape stayed silent. Harry suffered every damned second while the man was thinking. He almost sighed loudly with relief when Snape gave his wand back _. I really don’t know why he let me go this easily, but I don’t think I want to know the answer._

“Thank you, Professor,” said Harry gratefully before leaving the room. He pushed himself to walk slowly as not to give away how he was feeling inside.

XxXxX

Harry felt his heart was still hammering against his ribs even after leaving the room. He had gotten a bloody suspicion that he might have had some crush on Snape albeit a very tiny one. He had tried to avoid Snape because he was too afraid to confirm it.

Instead, he got ambushed by Snape and realized his feeling weren’t something little or big. It was HUGE. It was nothing like what he had felt for Cho Chang or Ginny Weasley. This was more than both of those combined.

This spelled trouble— very big trouble. Snape might not even be gay or bisexual _. For Merlin’s sake, he bloody loved my mother! How can he be gay!_

When Snape had groped his pocket for his wand, Harry had been afraid – _oh, yes, very afraid_ —that he would get another ‘wand’ (down there). Even innocent touches like that turned him on.

 _I really wish I wasn’t Harry Potter so I can leave all of this mess and go to a far away place, away from Snape,_ he thought. _This isn’t a problem that can be solved by killing one or two Voldemorts._

Harry clutched his head and groaned. _Now I can’t even sneak into his bed without imagining him on it! Maybe I should kill myself and save myself the trouble._

XxXxX

Two days later, Harry found himself standing in front of The Minister’s Office. He knocked twice on the door. _I won’t back away now. I’m a Gryffindor, for Merlin’s sake!_

“Be brave, Harry!” he muttered under his breath.

“Come in,” said someone inside the room.

“Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Weasley,” said Harry with an apologetic smile.

“It’s no trouble. Please, sit down, Harry. I wonder what brings you here.” Mr. Weasley said warmly and gestured to the chair in front of him.

The Ministry’s Office was filled with many strange things, Harry recognized some of them as muggle devices. It didn’t match with the old oak furniture in the office but it instantly gave away to whom the office belonged to. Arthur Weasley had always been fascinated with muggle devices and technology.

Harry sat down on the oak chair and felt guiltily that he was about to push Arthur Weasley into something unreasonable.

“I need a long mission away from Britain,” said Harry, clearing his throat before continuing, “To do some defense exchanges with other nations, to learn about their defense system to improve ours.” He put on what he hoped was a serious façade.

“Ah, I see what a bright idea! Who and where do you suggest will be suited for the job? Moody?” asked Mr. Weasley happily. Harry looked uncomfortably at him.

“I think United States has a good defense system,” said Harry answering part of Arthur’s question.

“Yes, I think it is a good choice. Besides there won’t be any language barrier there,” said Arthur with a smile.

“As for a volunteer, I suggest myself,” said Harry. Mr. Weasley look shocked.

“Harry, that’s—The Ministry needs you here!” protested Mr. Weasley. Harry resisted the temptation to sigh.

“I’ll put Moody as a temporary Head of the Department,” said Harry. Mr. Weasley hesitated about it. Moody could be really mad sometimes.

Harry quickly added, “Don’t worry, Professor Snape will back him up.”

“It’s only temporary. I will come back here as soon as the exchange is finished,” Harry reassured Mr. Weasley. _Lies, all lies. I won’t ever come back here once I get into United States. I’m so sorry Mr. Weasley._

“Harry, this isn’t because of Ginny, is it?” Mr. Weasley asked seriously.

Ginny is getting engaged to Seamus in a month and they decided to get married after Seamus finished school. This had been big news to everyone, except for a few people, since everyone thought she was getting married to Harry.

Harry blinked. He didn’t even remember about Ginny Weasley. His head was too full of Severus lately. _Yes, Severus._ He had began to call Snape by his first name lately, not that he ever uttered it out to anyone, especially to the man who owned that name. But it was hard not to do that since Severus practically haunted his every dream and even his consciousness.

“It’s not because of Ginny. It’s really not, Mr. Weasley. We just no longer matched each other. I’m really happy she found her true love,” said Harry with a smile.

“Thank Merlin for that. I didn’t want you to feel like a stranger, Harry. I always think of you as a part of my family,” Mr. Weasley said with relief.

“So do I, Mr. Weasley.”

“Then I will do what I can to get it implemented, Harry,” Mr. Weasley said.

“Thank you Mr. Weasley,” Harry replied gratefully.

Harry left The Minister’s Office half an hour later. He felt relieved Arthur had swallowed some nonsense like that. It was bad enough to love a man who would never love him but it was worse to be tortured by the erotic dream he had lately.

I’m not sure my self-control will last a week, let alone half a year. And even after he graduated from Hogwarts, he still needed to see Severus over the Ministry issues.

The man mattered more to him than the terrible desire that threatened to consume him _. I won’t let him get hurt! I’ll protect him even from myself!_ He swore.

XxXxX

That plan got approval from the Ministry three days later. United States Magical Government took the exchange with such enthusiasm that the exchange plan got signed by both governments before the end of the month. In all, it was faster than Harry had predicted. _Of course, the U.S. got excited. I’m the newest monkey in the zoo after all. I guess it’s alright as long as I get in there._

Harry told this news only to his best friends to give them time to settle with the idea while he decided to tell his department at the last minute. Moody was so astonished that he his jaw actually dropped. Severus just looked indifferent. _Ouch, it hurts more than I had thought, seeing him so unconcerned about this_ , Harry thought while rubbing his chest. _This is the best decision._

XxXxX

Harry was going to New York –U.S. Magical Government’s headquarters at the end of the month by plane. It was the safest way for a wizard to long distance travel to another country.

Harry was very busy on his last week in Britain. Mostly it was about the settlement for Moody as a fill-in Head of Defense.

The Weasleys had thrown him a goodbye party at the Burrow—Ron’s home for him a day before he left while the rest of Gryffindor mates and members of Dumbledore’s Army had accompanied him to Hogwarts’s gate. He received many well-wishes from them. Even Alastor Moody had made a last minute visit to Hogwarts; Harry met him at the gate. The man only gave him one piece advice: “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”

It made Harry smile.

However, the only person that mattered most didn’t even show up to say goodbye _. Not that I expected him to but it would have been nice to see him once again before I left,_ he thought glumly.

XxXxX

Harry was waiting for his plane in the airport with his best friends. Ron and Hermione insisted to accompany him and he had gratefully accepted their good intentions. He was feeling some apprehension about his new life in the U.S. After all, Harry had never left Britain since he was born.

When it was announced from the loudspeaker that it was time for him to go, Hermione suddenly burst into tears and even Ron got teary eyed. The three of them had never separated for such a long time in the last six years and now, Harry was going to stay in New York for a year. He gave them a hug. Hermione babbled at him to not forget to take a meal and to stay in contact with them. Ron, meanwhile, patted his shoulder, assuring him that they would always be his best friends. Harry mumbled a ‘thanks’, feeling very emotional himself.

Harry let them go reluctantly when he heard the second announcement. He walked to the departure gate and then waved to them before he passed it.

XxXxX

Harry never noticed a man that had been watching him from the shadows since his arrival at the airport. Neither did his best friends notice as they were too busy watching Harry’s back. But some people had noticed and looked suspiciously at the intimidating man who wore a black, billowing robe; he obviously wasn’t part of typical society. However, the man was gone a few seconds later after Harry was no longer visible from the outside of the departure gate.

 **End of Chapter 3**

 **Thank you so much for reading this chapter! XD And a lot of thanks to my lovely Beta, Mirai Kurosaki!**


	5. Chapter 5

~*~

 **Chapter 4**

 _I was so far out of place_

 _Watching those stars in outer space_

 _Cuz I am so far from where you are_

 **Dear Vienna -Owl City**

XxXxX

Harry quickly got used to life in New York. People here were so different from those in Britain but they were very open and everything said was straight and to the point. The first week in the United States Magical Government, he was required to socialize with the upper officials. He felt like some freak show, everyone wanting to see or speak to him.

However, the excitement died down after ten days. Everything here went so quickly, whether it was with the news or the up-coming technology. He spent the second week learning the basic structure of the Government. The United States Magical Government had many subdivisions, unlike in Britain where each subdivision had their own specialty (but still supported each other).

The Magical society in New York also was more open with their sexuality. Some witches (and even wizards) tried to hit on him but he had never tried to date any of them. It wouldn’t be fair to them if his heart wasn’t into it.

Besides that, Americans also thought that it wasn’t just magic that needed to be trained but also the physical form; they had adopted muggle martial arts. The Government’s healer had suggested to him to get his eyes corrected since glasses would interfere with training later on. He had agreed to do it. Now he had clearer vision for the first time in the last sixteen years of his life.

After that, he joined the Special Force training. It was similar to the Auror Force in the Ministry. The skills that he had learned from Severus and Moody after the Voldemort demise were very useful. He was proud to say that he did most of it perfectly, earning him recognition from his fellow Special Force trainees. And when the training was over, he became a member of Special Force’s team. The job included sweeping up persons or things deemed harmful to the U.S. Magical Society. Though he still wasn’t included in most of the secret operations.

Harry also kept in touch with Ron and Hermione, always reporting everything to Moody to be relayed back to the Minister, Arthur Weasley. The hardest part was that the U.S. Government was very interested with him and had been trying to persuade into moving permanently into their country.

“Talented young men like you are rare, Mr. Potter!” And so they had praised him on so many occasions. He was sorely tempted to accept the offer -to get away from Severus- if it weren’t for Mr. Weasley being the current Minister. It would feel like he was betraying the remainder of the man’s trust.

XxXxX

 _And I'll forget the world that I knew,_

 _But I swear I won't forget you,_

 _Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,_

 _I'd whisper in your ear,_

 _Oh darling I wish you were here_

 **Vanilla Twilight-Owl City**

XxXxX

Weeks became months, days passing in a flash, and nightmares rarely plaguing Harry’s sleep. Most nights, he would pass out in his bed because of the busy work life in the Special Force. But when he was awake, some parts of his heart felt so empty, longing for a certain black haired man in Hogwarts.

XxXxX

The Exchange Program was going to end this week-- that meant he had spent a year in New York. But Harry had already registered in St. Patrick's, a medical school in New York. It was said that most of famous healers in the world came from that school.

Thankfully, they didn't require certain qualifications, such as graduating from a magical school, to apply for it; they only required a few entry tests. Harry didn’t know if he got in because of his skills or his name but it didn’t really matter. What really mattered was that he could stay longer in United States by applying for it.

He had already leased a small apartment near Central Park because he felt that he had to move out from the barrack provided by the Exchange Program. He didn’t feel comfortable imposing on the United States Magical Government’s hospitality after the program ended even though they had insisted that they didn’t mind.

Ron and Hermione didn’t really say anything about his plan except that they were going to miss him and that he definitely had to go home for their wedding. His best friends had been dating each other after war was over and he was happy for them. At least somebody got happiness. He sighed.

However, Moody was angry about this. He had really hoped that Harry was going to come back immediately after the Exchange Program. He had said, “Bah, Head of Defense learns Arts of Healing!” It took a few days before he finally settled down about Harry’s decision.

XxXxX

The Exchange Program ended today. Harry, who had moved his stuff (consisting of few clothes) into his new apartment, was free to enjoy the whole week before medical school began.

Harry had ordered a large pepperoni pizza for tonight. He even borrowed some movies to watch all night. This evening, he only dressed in his white shirt and black boxers. With his earphones on and rocking away to music, he almost didn’t hear the door bell ring.

“Yes, I’m coming! Please wait!” Harry shouted from the back of the room.

Harry snatched the money he had prepared and ran to the door. He opened it and got the biggest surprise of his life. His eyes went wide at seeing the unexpected visitor. The man raised an eyebrow when Harry gaped at him.

“I see you haven’t change. Still so foolish, Potter,” Snape snorted.

Harry felt his brain turn into pudding. This can’t be happening now. _Oh Merlin, no_! he thought desperately.

“How- How?” asked Harry, confused.

Snape smirked at him. _A very sexy smirk_ , he thought absentmindedly.

“I hope it isn’t habit to greet your guest in your underpants. You should be ashamed, Potter,” said Snape silkily.

The insult snapped Harry out of his shocked state. The young man blushed heavily. He wore his old baggy boxers. _It’s only fair for him to see me in my boxers_ , he thought as he remembered seeing Snape’s underpants in the man’s pensive.

There was one memory which proved his father, James, was really a bully. He cleared his dry throat. _Damn it!_ He had to stop wondering whether his father really did take off Snape’s underpants as a horrible prank.

Snape had been mortified, humiliated, and yet Harry still undressed Snape in his mind. Guilt overcame him at the thought that he wanted to see the man without the said underpants. _Merlin! I’m just as bad as my father!_

“Well, then please come in, Professor. Welcome to my humble apartment,” said Harry, his chin held high, “And no, it isn’t a habit. It is my laundry day. We’ve got no house-elf here.”

Harry picked up the scattered magazines and books from the bed.

“Please sit down here, Professor. I don’t really have any chairs,” He gestured to the bed.

Harry’s room was still bare since he rented an unfurnished apartment. He had planned to buy some later when he had time.

“What do you want for a drink?” Harry said in deadpan expression, “Let’s see, I only got water.”

Snape glared at him for the cheeky remark.

“That’s fine,” said Snape in a clipped tone.

The man looked disgusted to be in such a messy room. Harry had to admit that he wasn’t the tidiest person. Harry quickly got some water in a glass and handed it to Snape, carefully, so he wasn’t looking straight at him.

“So what brings you here, Professor?” asked Harry while he pretended to tidy his room.

Severus took his sweet time in answering his question. _No—Snape! His name is Snape, damn it!_ Harry thought, _for Merlin’s beard, what he is doing here?!_

“Hogwarts’ Board Committee has decided that their beloved savior has to have a special graduating certificate for sacrificing himself in order to strengthen the Magical Community,” said Snape while he stared at Harry as if he were a disgusting bug under his nose.

 _He has such a lovely, narrow nose too. A little bit crooked but still lovely,_ Harry thought, _focus Harry! Damn old meddlesome people! They bloody ruined my plan to forget Sev- Snape!_ He almost sneered while thinking about those old nosy people.

“Be grateful, Potter! For this!” said Snape as he tossed a black cylinder tube at Harry who caught it by sheer reflex.

~*~

Harry felt his heart lurch up as he stared blankly at the item in his hand. _Just for bringing certificate? Can’t he just post it?_

“-And for a certain old fool that kept insisting I have to bring you back before the Americans hoodwinked you,” Snape went on.

 _So the real reason is Moody. Well, so sorry then. I’m not going back, old man,_ Harry grumbled bitterly, _I can’t, not while he is still influencing me so deeply even after all the time I was apart from him._

Harry counted to ten before replying to Snape, internally repeating the words he had practiced so many times in order to appease his friends’ anxiety.

“I’m so sorry, Professor, I can’t go home now. Please tell Moody that I’m already registered as a student here,” said Harry calmly.

 _Well, I’m not lying!_ Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those black eyes.

“I see,” said Snape slowly.

He almost sighed in relief but then, the man continued, “I’ll be staying here tonight.”

 _W-H-A-T?!_ He shouted inwardly, eyes bulged in surprise.

“You can’t be serious!” blurted Harry panickly.

“Why? So little Potter has a girlfriend now?” said Snape with an eyebrow raised.

 _Lovely, lovely eyebrow_ , Harry thought, _Stupid heart, No! Stop it, no eyebrow for me!_

“No, but--,“ Harry stammered.

Snape quickly cut in, “Then it is decided.”

“You can’t!” Harry protested.

“Give me a valid reason why I shouldn’t, Potter,” Snape retorted.

His brain went overload with the fact Snape wanted to stay at his place tonight and he couldn’t think of any good excuses to prevent the man from spending a night in his apartment. It didn’t help that the man was clearly enjoying seeing his frustration.

“You just can’t!” said Harry, totally at loss for words.

“I’m not accepting that,” said Snape, his eyes glinting.

 _I’ll end up raping you,_ Harry thought, _Merlin’s beard, I’ll end up as a rapist by the morning!_

Harry shouted—the first thing that came into his mind, “I only have one bed!”

“Potter, are you certain that you are a wizard?” Snape mocked him.

Harry groaned. A wizard could transfigure almost everything but that didn’t always mean that you would get the same thing you’ve been thinking about. He wasn’t so successful on transfiguration. It was more of Hermione’s forte.

“I still get my own bed,” said Harry stubbornly.

“Who said that I want yours? It might be infested with fleas,” said Snape coolly, delivering the insult with a tone that suggested he referred to a certain dead animagus who had been Harry’s Godfather.

 _That was a low blow, you nasty old bat!_ Harry thought angrily. _Why do I fall for this kind of person? Because he is sexy, stupid! And he only insulted you because you baited him-- Ahh! Stop that!_ He cried out inwardly.

Since Snape had come to his apartment, Harry was sure he was slowly becoming insane.

“Just go to the hotel or something. I’m sure you’ll find one. I will pay for it,” said Harry desperately.

Snape glared sharply at him. Harry cringed, the man looking irritated enough to whip his wand at him and cast Cruciatus Curse for his insolence. He didn’t mean to insult Snape but somehow it turned out to be that way.

“If you can find one, I’ll pay you double for it, Potter!” hissed Snape to his face.

 _Wait, since when did he get so close to me_?! Harry fumed in a panic.

He quickly stepped backward even though it was a cowardly act.

“How can that be difficult? New York is big enough!” said Harry defiantly.

Now Snape got a strange expression on his face.

 _Is that pity, I saw?_ He thought confusedly.

Snape snorted, “Potter, I always knew that you were stupid, but not this stupid!”

“Stop calling me stupid!!” Harry growled.

“Do you know what day is today?” asked Snape impatiently.

“Of course I know! It’s December 31,” Harry ended his words with a slap on his forehead.

 _I swear the Stars are plotting against me!_ Harry thought. _Bloody Hell! I totally forgot about it because he came so suddenly._

Harry had to admit that Snape was right. Hotels in New York were full of lovers and families at the end of the year. Even the most run-down hotels or motels were most likely to be full because of the holiday events going on in the city.

“Just do what you want,” Harry mumbled dejectedly.

The doorbell rang for the second time that day. He walked to the door without looking at Snape. Harry glared at the pizza delivery boy. The boy didn’t even dare ask for a tip. He only gave Harry the pizza, accepted the money, and quickly disappeared from that apartment.

Harry came back into the apartment and found Snape sitting calmly on his bed, which had been transfigured into what looked like a plush black couch.

 _Interesting, I knew that he loved comfortable things_ , he mused, _but what’s with his obsession with black?_

Snape’s grey, heavy coat and white scarf were no where to be seen. And to his surprise, the man wore a muggle clothes; a fitted black turtleneck and black pants. Harry couldn’t tear his gaze from the man’s figure. He had never seen Snape wore other than thick black robe.

Whoever had said that the man was skinny couldn’t be more wrong. Oh, yes, Severus Snape was definitely in the prime of life. Anyone only had to look at the man’s splendid physique would get the same opinion.

And Snape’s raven hair, for once, didn’t look greasy which made Harry want to run his fingers through that shoulder length hair. Harry debated with himself, whether the man would kill him or not if he tried to touch his hair.

“You are staring, Potter,” said Snape.

Harry blinked. _It’s your hair’s fault!_ he thought accusingly.

“Well, excuse me, I never saw you dress in anything besides a robe, Professor,” said Harry innocently.

 _If he were ever teaching while wearing those clothes, no one will pay attention to his teaching_ , Harry thought, _I wouldn’t for sure, too busy molesting him with my eyes. He might even get admirers._

Harry frowned when he thought about that. He tried to squish that jealous feeling. _It won’t do me any good to get jealous at some imaginary admirers._

“Potter,” said Snape.

Harry snapped out of his thought, “yes?”

Snape gestured to the item in Harry’s hand.

Harry looked down to pizza box in his hand. “Oh, this? It’s a pepperoni pizza.”

“Err—do you want some, Professor?” said Harry as he opened the box and offered it to the man.

Snape was looking at the pizza suspiciously like it was two-headed dragon instead of a harmless Italian baked pie, covered with toppings.

“Go on. I guarantee it tastes OK,” said Harry, convincing him.

Harry was mentally sweating when Snape lifted his head to stare at him. Those dark obsidian eyes bore deeply into his. He felt like the ugly witch who had just offered a poisonous apple to the Snow White like in the muggle’s fairytale. However, before long, he noticed that those black eyes glittered with mirth, laughing at his discomfort.

 _Damn you for making me feel guilty over a pizza!_ He glared at the man.

He bloody hated Snape’s peculiar sense of humor. Ah, no, he bloody hated how Slytherins in general thought it was funny to make others suffer. _What a bunch of twisted people!_

A triumphant smile flickered across Snape’s face before the man picked one slice, then brought it to his mouth, and took a bite.

“Too much cheese,” commented Snape.

Harry rolled his eyes and decided to have a good banter with him.

“I like it that way,” Harry retorted defensively.

“You’ll get fat, Potter,” Snape said dryly.

Harry chuckled, “I don’t eat this everyday. Do you want more, Professor?”

“No,” Snape said curtly.

Harry’s throat went dry when he watched Snape lick the cheese that was stuck on the man’s upper lip. Fantasies about what that pink tongue could do reeled into his mind. He felt his blood rush up to his head and then down to his lower parts. _Oh, shit!!_

“Excuse me,” he mumbled.

Harry ran to the bathroom and slammed the bathroom door close. He pinched his nose, hoping that he wouldn’t get a nosebleed. _Too much visual! Bloody hell!_ He looked at the tent in his boxers pitifully.

Harry didn’t dare to go out for a while until after he practiced meditation inside the bathroom. He kept chanting about self-control and was seriously considering locking himself in the bathroom until tomorrow. He wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t attack Snape tonight.

 _He loves your mother. He is old enough to be your father. Your father hated him. Your godfather hated him. You are a pervert if you like him. Your friends hate him. He’s a greasy old bat. He’s nasty._ Harry went on thinking about one hundred-and-one reasons not to rape Snape. After repeating that five times, Harry came out from the bathroom.

Snape was sitting on the couch with a book opened in his lap. The man lifted his head when he heard him approaching.

“Pity. I thought you decided to get rid of yourself,” said Snape silkily.

Despite the insult, one glance to the sexy man was enough to make all reason fly from Harry’s head. Life was so much better if he had never seen how the man looked like without those thick robes _._ And that tongue!Now he wasn’t just pining for the man but also sexually frustrated that he almost tore his hair out.

“Just leave me alone!” he cried out.

Snape just raised an eyebrow at his words and went back to reading. Harry went all the way to ignore the man for the rest of the day.

~*~

 **End of Chapter 4**

 **Special Thanks to my lovely Beta, Mirai Kurosaki. Once again you saved the day! XD**

Thank you so much for reading this chapter.. ^_^ I love you all, readers! *hugs* and any review will be welcomed warmly XD


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

 **Harry’s POV**

When night came, Harry bundled himself from neck to toe, like a caterpillar, in case he did _things_ unconsciously. He was seriously considering asking Snape to put Full Body Bind Curse on him but that would make Snape suspicious of him. _Merlin, give me strength_ , he thought resignedly. Then he forced himself to relax and allowed sleep to claim him.

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

Severus Snape was never a heavy sleeper, even the slightest sound could wake him up. He was awakened in the middle of the night by someone’s crying voice. It was almost pitch black in the room. Severus grabbed his wand from under his pillow and whispered Lumos. A small beam of light shined from the end of his wand.

The crying sound came from the other side of the room and it was getting louder now. Severus got up from his bed and went to where the sound was coming from. Under the glow of light under his wand, he could see Potter lying on the bed, eyes shut, body tense. The young man’s face was pinched with grief. Severus recognized it as the sign of a nightmare.

At first he wanted to wake him up roughly, but then Potter suddenly let out a heart-rending cry. Severus was stunned as to just how much agony the sound carried. The young man’s eyes were moving rapidly beneath his closed eyelids.

Potter started muttering in a strained voice.

“No...”

Harry shook his head.

“Don’t…”

The young man’s hands were twitching.

“Please…Don’t hate…”

Severus was perplexed about what to do for the young man. He wasn’t a man who knew how to offer solace to others and no one ever expected him to do that. Potter began to toss and turn in the bed, his arms flailing upwards.

Severus unintentionally caught one of Potter’s wandering hands but his action made Potter stiffen as if bracing for a hit. Potter’s bottom lip quivered, tears began to seep out through the young man’s closed eyes.

Potter whispered in a broken voice.

“Don’t hate me...”

It might have been a rare moment of compassion that made Severus put his wand on the bed. Then, he raised his other hand to stroke Potter’s head awkwardly as the young man sobbed.

 _In this kind of situation, Albus would know what to do better than me_. Severus sighed when he remembered about the late headmaster.

After some time, Potter’s cry slowly died down. Severus was almost convinced that Potter had gone back to sleep when a small trembling voice called to him.

“Sev...?”

Severus tensed, quite disconcerted to be caught in this situation. _Is Potter awake_?

But Potter still kept his eyes closed though the tension in his face had dispersed. A contented smile graced Potter’s lips. However, his name was called again in almost a soft sigh.

“Severus...”

Severus felt his heart sink when he heard that. He quickly pulled his hand from Potter’s head. Clouds of suspicion hovered over his head. It wasn’t strange for his colleagues at Hogwarts to call him by his given name, since most of the Professors had been his teachers in the past, but it wasn’t the same case with Potter.

The memories of the last conversation that he had with Potter at his office stormed into to his mind like a dozen of angry Hippogriffs.

 _“If you really hate me, Potter, why do you even bother to pick me as your advisor?!”_

 _“If only that was the problem, it would make my day easier.”_

Then their earlier conversation today.

 _“Give me a valid reason why I shouldn’t, Potter.”_

 _“You just can’t!”_

 _“Just go to the hotel or something. I’m sure you’ll find one, I will pay for it.”_

Potter had acted strange then too. He began to remember how the young man blushed and flinched every time he got too near.

 _Then I’m the reason that he has been running away from England? NO! The idea is ridiculous! I’m a man that is as old as his father! And he hates me!_

Evil voices whispered to him, _Ah, did you forget that he had said that he didn’t hate you before? And why would he call your first name if he hated you?_

Severus shook his head, refusing to believe it. _No! Potter wouldn’t- That’s absurd!_

Severus really doubted it as Potter never showed any preferences toward the same sex. It was more logical to accept that Potter left Britain because of Ginny Weasley.

 _Yes, Potter definitely likes female! It’s just a fragment of my imagination,_ he thought firmly, _Forget it, Severus! You’re getting senile in your old age!_

He had sworn that he wouldn’t turn out to be another old bumbling fool, like Albus Dumbledore even though he respected the man.

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

The sun was already shining when Harry woke up. His first thought was: _Merlin, I hope he’s OK!_

As for himself, Harry felt like he had been trampled by a horde of Giants. It was surprising that he could get any sleep. Harry sat on his bed, pondering whether he should search for Snape or not, when the man came out from the bathroom, wearing a gray turtleneck and brown pants.

“Finally. You are such a lazy pig, Potter,” said Snape.

Harry looked at him closely from top to bottom. _He looks fine_. Harry let out a relieved sigh inwardly after observing Snape.

“When does your plane take off, Professor?” asked Harry, ignoring the insult.

Snape waved his wand. A shining clock appeared in the air.

“In five hours,” he answered in clipped tone.

“I don’t know wizards could do that,” said Harry, astonished.

Apparently, despite of the years he had spent in Hogwarts as a student, there were so many spells that he still didn’t know.

“Some people spend their time reading useful books instead of magazines,” replied Snape.

Harry gritted his teeth, trying to hold his temper in check. He decided he didn’t want to spend time fighting with Snape. After all, who knew when he would be able to meet the man again. _If I can help it, I hope never._ Although, as usual, his heart wasn’t in line with his thoughts. The prickling pain in his chest which wouldn’t leave was enough proof.

“Do you want to eat breakfast before you leave, Professor? There is a café nearby that has good coffee,” said Harry.

It was hard not to notice Snape’s fondness toward that black, hot drink. The amount of coffee that the man drank every time when they had to work overtime in the Ministry was amazing. _Probably enough to fill a small pond_ , he thought amusedly.

“Fine,” replied Snape curtly.

He wasn’t surprised that the pain lessened at hearing Snape’s approval. The silly thing was that if he couldn’t have Snape, at least he would have memories of him.

“Just give me a minute to change my clothes,” said Harry.

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

The café was just two blocks away from Potter’s apartment. It was a small but clean and dominated with sickeningly yellow and white color. The shop was too tawdry for Severus’s taste though. He wouldn’t had entered this kind of shop had it not been because of Potter’s recommendation.

They chose to sit near the window with Potter seated in front of him. A young maid took their order, a pot of black coffee for Severus, and meat ball spaghetti and orange juice for Potter. Before long, Severus was already sipping on his coffee, which turned out to be pretty good, while Potter pounced on the food hungrily.

Severus scrutinized the young man. He already noted yesterday that Potter was no longer need glasses. Not that it was a bad thing. Glasses were too unpractical, could be damaged or missing. And more importantly, Potter was as blind as a bat without it.

However, the lack of glasses brought Severus’s attention to the young man’s unusually bright eyes. Before, he always thought that Potter had his mother’s eyes but that was wrong. As he lay dying on the floor of shrieking shack, he had asked Potter to look at him, wanting to at least see Lily’s eyes before he left the world. If the muggle concept of hell and heaven was true, he knew he wouldn’t ever get to see Lily again. When he looked into Potter’s eyes though, he realized that it wasn’t Lily’s eyes.

Lily’s were a darker green, like a forest that gave sense of warmth, but Potter’s eyes were brighter, a clear emerald. Eyes of someone with virtue, which held compassion-- even for a man that Potter had always hated. _A true Gryffindor to the bone,_ he thought. For the first time in many years, he saw the true individual called Harry Potter and not the shadows of his parents.

Potter never looked at him with a disgusted expression for loving his mother, nor did the young man pity his childhood past. Even after Severus had bared all of his being to him, he accepted Severus for who he was. There were only two people that had ever done that, Lily and Dumbledore. It reflected in Potter’s pure green eyes. _Gullible_ , Severus had mocked so many times, as if the wars didn’t taint his innocence at all.

But Severus knew better than to believe that. He knew that Potter had seen more death and violence than most people in society because of that special link that he shared with Voldemort. Yet, Harry Potter never changed. The young man stood true to himself, never losing his way, something that Severus had admired and envied all this time.

Even when nightmares plagued his dream, Potter still wouldn’t bend his head. Last time the young man had fainted, he had taken him to Madam Pomfrey. When she diagnosed the Potter suffered because of lack of sleep, Severus had moved the young man into his room, hoping that the boy would shift some of his burden to him.

He had wanted to be the young man’s anchor just like Dumbledore was to him. It was only fair since the former Headmaster had done it for him too. But he wasn’t Dumbledore, he failed greatly to make the young man open his heart to him. Potter never came back to his quarters and he somehow stubbornly survived with his own way. It was unbelievable that he would run away because of heartbreak.

XxXxX

Awakened from his reverie, Severus looked at the young man, only to find that somehow Potter’s face was covered in spaghetti’s sauce.

Severus frowned at him, “Potter, you eat like a child! Look at your face!”

“Huh? Do I have something on my face? Where?” asked Potter dumbly.

Severus threw him a disgusted look then pointed to spots under his chin and his left cheek. Potter tried to wipe it but still left a mess unattended.

“No, you missed that,” Severus narrowed his eyes and pointed to the left side above his chin

Potter wiped a little far to the left and missed the spot.

“Did I get all of it?” asked Potter.

Severus got impatient and unfolded his own napkin.

“Stay still, Potter,” Severus said.

Severus’s left hand was holding Potter’s right cheek while his right hand wiped efficiently any mess that had been left. Then, he noticed Potter was looking at him intently, the young man’s face blushing red, contrasting with his brilliant green eyes. Suddenly, Potter licked Severus’s middle finger from the hand having been holding his chin.

“You got some sauce on your finger,” the young man mumbled while blushing hotly.

Warning bells went off in Severus’s head. Now he couldn’t deny that Potter did have some feeling for him.

“You are such a glutton, Potter!” Severus reprimanded him more harshly than he had intended to do.

Potter’s green eyes flashed with hurt before he could mask the feeling. Then the young man quickly looked down at his plate. Potter gave a low laugh, dismissing the whole act as a joke.

“I guess, yes, must be something I’ve caught from Ron,” Potter kept his voice light.

He was looking at everything except Severus.

“I, er, I need to go to the bathroom.” Potter stood up suddenly.

When Potter came back, Severus noticed that corner of his eyes was a bit red. He felt a twinge of conscience toward the young man. Even though there was no clear evidence, Severus strongly suspected that the young man had been crying and most likely it was his fault.

After they paid the bill, Potter took him to a small shop. He said about getting presents for Moody; he didn’t want the poor old man being forgotten. His green eyes had cleared up once again like he had never felt hurt. Then, they went from one store to another, seeking more gifts for Potter’s best friends.

Severus didn’t mind at all because he needed more time to digest this preposterous reality. There were so many questions that Severus wanted to ask Potter but he was unsure on how to start. The whole situation probably would go downhill if he asked the young man about it.

 **End of Chapter 5**

Special Thanks to my lovely Beta, Mirai Kurosaki. Thank you so much for reading this chapter. This is the first chapter that included Snape’s POV. I hope it’s not very OOC. ^_^; If it is, please forgive me, and any review as usual will be welcomed (very) warmly XD


	7. Chapter 7

*~~~

 **Chapter 6**

 **Severus’s POV**

Someone had said that eyes were the windows of your heart. Severus found that statement to be very true right now. Potter might not have realized it but when the young man was sending him away at the airport, those green eyes looked like there was some curtain over them. Severus found that those lifeless eyes were pretty disturbing. He had never seen Potter look like that before.

Severus sighed softly. It was inane to think that he had choice in this matter. Life as always was never fair to him. He had to take this choice or it would haunt him forever. And Merlin knew he didn’t need more regret.

“I claim your promise, come back to London with me, Potter,” said Severus firmly as he gripped Potter’s upper arm.

The magic was like electricity that ran from him to Potter and back to him again, sealing the promise. It was the promise that the young man had magically signed to a year ago. Potter’s face turned as white as a ghost. The young man lifted his panicked gaze to him then opened his mouth but no words came out. However, the shock didn’t last long because Potter began to struggle, trying to pull his arm from Severus’s grip.

“Potter, don’t be a fool! There’ll be nothing left if you keep running away!” Severus said sternly.

Potter looked at Severus with a pained expression, “There is nothing left even if I stay! Let me go!” He tried to yank his arm away.

Severus was about to say something to Potter when the young man stepped hard on his foot then wrenched his arm free from Severus’s grip, who was distracted by the pain.

Severus grimaced and quietly cursed, _Bloody Potter!_

Severus could see that Potter was running ahead of him and was about to take out his wand. The young man seemed desperate enough to disapparate straight away in the Airport even though there were many muggles in there.

Knowing he had no chance to catch up with Potter, Severus was forced to use a wandless spell . The Leg-Locker Curse effectively stopped the young man from apparating. Potter lost his balance and crashed to the floor with a loud bang.

Severus walked quickly to the young man and gripped his arm again. The young man struggled against his hold. Since Severus was touching his arm, the young man would be forced to take Severus with him if he apparated now.

“Stop it, Potter! It will hurt more if you try to resist!” hissed Severus.

The breach of a promise bound by magic had consequences; usually, you would be cursed by a milder version of Cruciatus Curse. The stronger the wizard meant more pain, since it was the magic inside the wizard that had been causing the discomfort. It wouldn’t stop hurting until the promise was reinstated.

Aware that a crowd had begun to watch them, Severus dragged the young man to a toilet cubicle because it was the nearest place where he could disapparate both of them safely to Potter’s apartment.

XxXxX

When they arrived in Potter’s apartment, the young man was inhaling short quick breaths. It was obvious that the magic had started hurting him. Severus lifted the spell but his hand still gripped the young man tightly.

“No, please. You don’t understand, I can’t go back,” said Potter slowly, clearly pushing himself to talk normally and refused to admit the pain.

 _Stupid, stubborn Gryffindor!_ Severus frowned at him.

Severus could see that Potter’s green eyes watered either from the pain the curse had caused or something else. He had no idea what would happen next but surely the choice he had to take was like a hot burning brick. It was hell on earth. He bloody hated to deal with emotional baggage. He had to force himself to say the words.

“I understand,” said Severus slowly.

Potter frowned, clearly mistaking it for the rumor that had circulated in London, “I’m not talking about Ginny.”

“I know, Potter,” said Severus quietly.

Severus could almost hear the gear in the young man’s brain starting to grind. He knew Potter had realized what he meant when those green eyes widened in horror.

“How?” asked Potter with a breathless voice.

Severus could sense distress rolling out from Potter. And there was also the undeniable concrete evidence that the young man was greatly agitated. The whole room was shaking like it was being swept by an earthquake. Glasses had rolled out from the table and crashed to the floor with a loud noise. Potter’s magic had flowed out of control.

“Potter,” said Severus cautiously.

The young man glared at him. Those green eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“You have no right to get into my head!” Potter shouted furiously, mistaking the reason behind it.

Severus noticed that one of the light bulbs in the room exploded as Potter shouted at him. He was very concerned about this. Potter’s magic had never been this wild before. Wizards usually stopped doing accidental magic once they grew up.

Severus frowned but said calmly, “I didn’t use Legilimency on you.”

“What?!” said Potter, in a strangled voice.

“You—You were dreaming last night,” said Severus very quietly.

Potter stared blankly at him, expression unreadable.

“Then I’m the one who did it,” said Potter in a hollow voice.

Potter closed his eyes but then his body shook. A bitter laugh escaped from the young man’s lips. That laugh left an unsettled feeling in the pit of Severus’s stomach. However, Severus became more alarmed when tears seeped out from Potter’s closed eyes.

Severus shook his shoulder. “Potter, look at me!”

Potter kept his eyes closed stubbornly.

“Look at me, you foolish boy!” cursed Severus.

Potter opened his eyes then glared at Severus. His eyes were full of tears and pain.

“I’m not my mother!” Potter roared at him, “I hate these eyes!”

The young man started clawing at his own eyes.

“Stop it, Potter! Stop, what the hell are you doing?!” shouted Severus as he clasped both of Potter’s hands tightly.

“Just leave me alone, you nasty man! You only want to have these eyes! Just take it! I don’t care!” screamed Potter.

 _He’s hysterical_. Severus slapped his face hard. Potter looked at him shocked.

“That wasn’t what I mean when I asked you to look at me, you fool! You don’t have your mother’s eyes! You never did!” shouted Severus.

Potter looked at him with hurt expression. The young man had bitten at his own lip hard until it started bleeding.

Severus cursed himself for saying the wrong words. He was never a gentle person. His words had pushed Lily away from him and now it was going to drive the young man away too. He sighed. Somehow the young man had become an irreplaceable existence in his life more than Lily ever was.

 _I want to keep him where I can see him_ , he thought.

“I know you are horrified by your own feeling, Potter, but that isn’t a good reason to run away,” said Severus softly.

“Horrified? You don’t understand! That isn’t what I fucking feel! You ass!” Potter spat.

“You won’t talk to me like that again, boy!” Severus hissed at him.

“Yes, to you I’m just a boy! Lily’s boy! Why should it matter to you?!” Potter yelled.

Potter tried to yank his arms out of Severus’s grip.

“No, you won’t run again, Potter. I have had enough of it!” snapped Severus.

Potter whipped up his head. His green eyes flashed dangerously.

“WHAT CAN I DO EXCEPT TO RUN AWAY?! I’M BLOODY FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU!” He screamed at Severus.

Severus was surprised. _Potter is in love with me?!_ He had predicted that Potter might have a crush on him. But love? He would never suspect that.

“It’ll pass. You’ll find someone else,” said Severus to him. “You are still young, Potter.”

Severus found himself slammed hard into the wall. Potter grabbed his head by hair then kissed him harshly. Startled by Potter’s action, Severus pushed him hard. He watched Potter stumble into the floor.

“This is why I have to run! I want you Severus—so damn much!” shouted Potter.

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

 _Fuck, I’ve done it! Oh, fuck_! Harry cried inside, feeling angry at himself. He had done an irreversible thing now. To Severus. To himself. _What I always wish is to treasure him, never this_ , he thought. _I’m so stupid_! Harry buried his face in his knees.

“Please, just leave!” he mumbled.

He felt pain both from inside his heart and the curse. Strong arms hauled him up from the floor. Harry looked at Severus through his eyes, blurred by tears. He was confused. He had thought that Severus would leave immediately after he did that.

“You said I don’t understand. Tell me what I don’t understand,” asked Severus.

 _Nothing to lose now_ , Harry thought sadly. _Ah, no, you can’t lose what you never have_.

“This isn’t something that will pass away,” he whispered slowly. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

Harry had told himself that he was the biggest fool if he kept on loving someone that would never return his feeling but that didn’t work out. Even after he left Britain, it still didn’t work out. But at least, if he wasn’t near Severus, he wouldn’t able to do any damage to the man.

Severus grabbed his head, forcing him to look at the man.

“What do you want? Tell me the truth,” asked Severus at him.

Harry looked into Severus’s deep obsidian eyes. _You. It’s always you._

“I want to be able to stay beside you,” Harry said truthfully. _To see you, to touch you, to love you._

“You can, just come back with me, Potter,” said Severus quietly.

“I can’t. I already showed you. I can’t control myself. I might hurt you,” said Harry, frustrated.

His love for Severus was bordering on obsession. One day his sanity might snap and he bloody didn’t want Severus to be anywhere near him when that day came. Hell, he didn’t want to be there when he snapped, sort of wishing that he would lose his consciousness when that happened.

“Potter, do you really think I’m going to let you hurt me?” said Severus firmly.

“I’m mad about you!” admitted Harry. “You don’t know what I can do!!”

“Please, just leave,” Harry pushed Severus away. _Don’t be kind, you’ll only hurt me more._

But Severus didn’t let him go; it seemed the grip even got tighter. It didn’t help that Harry was so close to breaking down.

“Which part of my words that didn’t you understand?” His voice cracked.

Harry felt very tired. Everything had suddenly spiraled down so fast in one day. He never expected to pass through this with his pride intact but he was hurting so much that he didn’t care about the last shard of pride anymore. He just wanted this to be over or he might do even crazier thing like beg Severus not to leave him. And if the man refused, which was the biggest probability, his heart would be reduced to ashes and no one could ever fixed it.

 **End of Chapter 6**

 **A million thanks to My Beta, Mirai Kurosaki! And to all readers, thank you for still reading this fic.. ^_^ And, it’s still full of angst too. I’m sorry if it’s not to your liking *bows* As usual any review will be welcomed (very) warmly XDDD**


	8. Chapter 8

~*~

 **Chapter 7**

 **Severus’s POV**

For Severus, love always felt painful. Lily was his first and only love. She was the one that had led him out of his cold and dark world. She showed him a world that was full of kindness, warmth, and light. A world that was truly different from his world. There was nothing he wished more than to be a part of that world.

Severus was never welcomed there—the darkness that once was a part of him wouldn’t let him. As such, she gave up on him, leaving him in the shadows. Because once that he had tasted the light, he couldn’t come back to the darkness.

However, he never blamed her for leaving him. It was his fault that it had happened. She was too perfect to be his. So he tried to change himself to be a man that would suit her. But the more he changed, the more she slipped away like the sand through his fingers.

But Severus never gave up. He believed she would love him back someday. Until that happened, the day Lily died. That was when the illusion had finally shattered into dust. All this time, his love for Lily was the only thing that had kept him going. So when Dumbledore manipulated his love and regret into protecting Potter, he had accepted the role of guardian without much protest. If he looked deeper, he realized that the old wizard had saved him by giving him another reason to continue living.

At first, Potter’s presence was merely a shard of light. A chance so he could redeem his sin. It was nothing like the warm light that Lily had brought into his life. But as time passed on, Potter had become blindingly bright. If Lily was a moon, Potter was like a sun in the darkness. It exposed the dark and hideous part of him till he was bare. Yet, he couldn’t help himself to gravitate toward it.

And when Severus was thought everything was finally going to end as he lied dying on the Shrieking Shack, Potter saved him. He woke up in the hospital wing as a free man, being pardoned for all his wrongdoings. He didn’t even know what to do with his life. All this time he had been living for someone else’s sake.

Therefore, when Potter had chosen him as his advisor, he had accepted it. And all the works at Hogwarts and the Ministry had kept him busy so he wasn’t given time to think and feel. Yet even that had changed. Suddenly Potter had acted strange; he had rejected Severus. To his surprise, Severus felt hurt by his rejection. When the young man had run away, Severus felt lost. He felt like he was being thrown away.

Severus was angry at himself for feeling that way and to Harry Potter for making him feel that way. He had come to lash out at the young man, only to find out madness. The young man had said that he loved him. The love that he had desired for so long was given by Potter. Now he was going to hurt the young man and probably make him run again if he said the wrong answer.

 _No one had ever said that they love me before, not my mother, not my father, not even Lily_ , Severus thought, _As mad as the situation is, I don’t want to lose him. I can’t bear losing him!_

“Kiss me,” he said curtly to the young man.

Potter snapped his head up so fast that Severus thought the young man might get hurt. Potter looked bewildered by his request and his green eyes were as wide as saucers.

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

 _WHAT?!_ Harry couldn’t help himself from gawking at him.

He was completely baffled. _Did he just say that?! What did I miss?! Had he not just pushed me away before?_

However, Severus seemed to lose his patience. The man pulled him into his arms then mashed both of their lips together. Harry froze. His heart was banging strongly against his ribcage, so loud that he could hear the sound in his ears. He was afraid to breath. Actually, he was afraid to do anything.

Then Harry felt Severus’s soft and warm lips move gently over his. He stiffened and started to count inwardly when the man would pull away. He hoped it would be like thunder. If you expected it to strike then you wouldn’t be so surprised later. He just wished it wouldn’t be so painful when it ended.

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

To say that Severus was annoyed was an understatement. He was itching to hex Potter for looking like a frightened deer that would jump and disappear. He almost snorted. He should have known better than to believe that Potter really had feelings for him.

Truthfully what bloody annoyed him was the way Potter act. He knew that he wasn’t that attractive but Potter was the first person that despised his kiss so much. It wounded his ego. _Oh yes, he’s going to pay for this!_

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

Harry was forced to let out a breath since Severus still hadn’t let him go. But it had been one minute. Severus would have to stop anytime now, right?

So he almost jumped when he felt Severus’s hand on his neck. Those fingers moved slowly in a circle, stroking the spot below his ear. His eyes reflexively fell shut. It felt so good to be caressed like that. Not to mention that Severus had deepened the kiss and now nibbled on his lower lip.

Harry wrapped his arms timidly around Severus. It felt amazing to have the man kiss him willingly. He moaned silently into the kiss. And Severus took this chance to plunge his tongue into his mouth. The sheer perverseness of that act made him weak in the knees. He had to grab on the man’s clothes to keep him from falling down.

It was only in his wildest dream Severus would kissed him like this. Now that it had become real, he couldn’t help himself from responding eagerly, entwining his tongue with Severus’s. Severus mapped his palate, stroking it with his tongue, leaving fire behind. When Severus sucked on his tongue, Harry finally lost control. He groaned low, grabbed the back of Severus’s head then plunged his tongue into Severus’s mouth, stroking, tasting.

His desire urged him to do more while his conscience shouted at him to stop. It took a lot of effort to push himself away from Severus. He might as well have split himself into two. But as he looked at the man who was breathing as heavily as he was, he knew it was the right decision.

The pain, as expected, doubled. Other than that, it was also surprisingly easy to regain self control after he completely let it go, to reset it all and set his priority straight because, for him, it was always Severus’s welfare that mattered the most.

 _Though, that doesn’t mean I won’t regret my decision_ , Harry sighed.

Harry stared at the floor. He didn’t know why Severus would do this. But it was time to end this and if he was lucky, he could pass it off as a laugh. He was about to say something when Severus yanked him closer. He had to bite off a moan when his arousal was pressing directly onto the man’s thigh. He went pale and hastily tried to get away. There was no way Severus wouldn’t notice it!

But his struggling ceased when Severus moaned low. Then he realized something hard pressed onto his stomach and he was sure as hell that it wasn’t a wand. His throat went dry as peered at Severus. The man’s usual pale face was tinted red and his hair was messed up. To sum it up, one could say that Severus was delectable enough to eat. Harry was afraid he might jump on him right there.

 _Bloody fucking hell! I’m in a deep trouble!_ He thought in panic. _I should ask him to knock me out now!_

“Sev—,”said Harry.

But Severus interrupted him, “I desire you enough to accept your feeling.”

“Huh?!” He gawked at Severus.

Of all lines, he would never imagine to hear that one. _What did Severus mean by that? Did he-?_

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

Severus saw a gleam of hope dawn on those green eyes as Potter understood what he had told him before.

“Really?” asked Potter with irresistible puppy eyes.

Severus snorted. He wasn’t going to be swayed by those eyes.

“I won’t repeat it, Potter,” said Severus in a tone that said take it or leave it.

Truthfully, despite of his indifferent façade, Severus was surprised that Potter could rouse his desire. Nor had he planned for the kiss to be so out of control. He had planned to let Potter down, indirectly refusing him by proving that he didn’t feel anything for the young man after he kissed him. Yet, it was clear that it totally went to the drain.

Severus observed as Potter made a pensive expression. He should have known that Potter would defy all odds. After all, the young man had been doing a good job at it even when he was a mere baby by surviving the Killing Curse. No matter what Dumbledore had said about Lily’s sacrifice for her son, Severus suspected Potter might have taken a part in the survival. After all, the Killing Curse wasn’t something that could be avoided that easily. He had seen many people die while protecting their beloved ones, yet no one ever survived, except for Potter.

For so many years, Severus had accepted the fact that he was an asexual being. It wasn’t like he had never had sex before—just that he didn’t enjoy it. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had slept with someone was. He definitely never desired the same sex before. Now a mere young man left him wanting for more.

 _No, not just a mere young man. Only Potter would do such an unthinkable thing, like falling for his old Professor,_ he thought ruefully.

Severus was slightly lost in thought when Potter beamed at him. That bright smile threw Severus out of balance. His chest suddenly felt tight with emotions and it made him feel light-headed.

 _That smile should have come with a warning,_ he thought, annoyed.

“Sit down,” ordered Severus.

Potter walked to the bed and sat down obediently.

 _Who knew that you only had to kiss Potter to make him this obedient_? Severus thought as he stored the knowledge for later use.

“Do you feel any pain?” asked Severus.

Severus raised an eyebrow when the young man shook his head. He found it hard to believe that Potter didn’t feel any pain with an active curse.

Severus snorted, “Repeat after me: I will go back to England with Severus Snape.”

The young man snapped out of his daze. “Does that mean that you will go out with me?”

Severus cringed inwardly. ‘Go out’ was one of his most hated words since it was sticking close to ‘Dating’ and ‘Lovey-dovey’. All those words in his mind vocabulary were puke- inducing. He never even dreamed one day that words would be used against him.

 _Better not strangle him now,_ he thought, disgruntled. _I do want him to come back alive, don’t I?_

“Yes,” Severus gritted his teeth. “Now get on with breaking the curse.”

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

Harry repeated the words happily after he heard the confirmation from Severus. Well, if happy could describe what he felt right now. Maybe he was already in La-la Land, finally snapped out of his mind. But it wasn’t so bad if that meant he was together with the person he loved the most.

“Did you hit your head when you fell?” asked Severus.

“Uh—no, I don’t think so,” answered Harry.

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. “Stay still.”

Harry wasn’t angry when Severus began to touch his head even though the action showed just how little the man trusted his words. The same slender fingers that he had desired before were touching him now.

When the man started moving his hand to press gently on his scalp, Harry had to bite back a moan. _I’m in heaven! Please, don’t stop!_

“Tell me if you feel any pain,” said Severus coolly.

But soon, Harry began to feel uncomfortable as Severus moved his hand lower to his neck then on to his shoulder. Not because he disliked Severus’s touch. It was more to the fact he was hard down there and there was possibility of coming in his pants, which would be very embarrassing no doubt.

But any thought of that was forgotten when he flinched, feeling a twinge of pain in his shoulder. Severus seemed to notice it too. The man pushed harder on that spot, making Harry grunt in pain.

“Take off your clothes,” ordered Severus.

Harry widened his eyes.

“I need to check how severe your bruise is,” explained Severus dryly. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Potter.”

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

Severus watched as Potter blushed brightly but the young man followed his order and took off his jacket and shirt, revealing a toned body beneath it. It was slightly tanned, most unusual for a British skin but giving off the sense of an active and healthy young man. Gone was the pale short twerp that he had seen standing nervously at the Sorting Ceremony at Hogwarts seven years ago.

Harry Potter had transformed into a fine young man since the last time Severus had seen him. As the young man grew up, it became clear that the Potter wasn’t his father’s perfect copy anymore. Unlike his father’s sturdy built, Potter had a lean body like his mother.

Potter was losing his baby fat too. His face became manly with long eyelashes to balance it. He also grew taller, although not as tall as Weasley. Right now, he had shot up to just below Severus’s ear and it looked like Potter still hadn’t reached his full height. He was going to grow some more.

However, the young man best features were his eyes. Now that it wasn’t being hidden behind ugly glasses, Severus could see why those girls in Hogwarts have developed an obsession over them. Overall, he was a good looking young man.

 _Enough to rival that Mutt at the time of his youth._ Even Severus loathed Black. He wasn’t blind to the fact that all girls in the past were practically throwing themselves at Black’s feet.

 _That Weasley girl is an idiot to dump him,_ mused Severus.

Severus inspected Potter’s shoulder. There were nasty looking bruises from the right shoulder stretching to some parts of his back. It looked worse than he had predicted.

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

Harry blushed as he felt Severus’s stare on him. He was proud of his body. All that training he had for Quidditch and Special Force had kept him lean with muscles in the right place. The problem was he wasn’t sure Severus would appreciate the view. For all he knew, Severus only loved one person, his mother, who was a female.

Harry watched nervously as Severus took a black square from his jacket, which turned out to be a medium sized trunk after the man casted an enlarging spell on it. Severus waved his wand, unlocking the trunk. Then he pulled out a small container.

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

Severus uncapped the container then scooped out the salve with his fingers.

“Don’t move, Potter,” warned Severus.

Then Severus applied it directly to the bruises. He smeared it down evenly. Potter moaned low when he did that. Snape shivered when he heard it. Now after the kiss, even though he tried to deny it, he couldn’t see Potter just as a former student. He quickly put the rest of the salve on before it led them to another incident.

“Do you feel pain elsewhere?” asked Severus.

Potter looked at him, and blushed even redder. He muttered something under his breath.

Severus snapped out, “What?”

Potter shook his head and gave a little smile to Severus.

“I’m going to do it myself,” said Potter, embarrassed. “It is on my lower parts.”

“Believe me, you don’t want to do that,” continued Potter sheepishly.

XxXxX

After Potter had accepted the salve and went to the bathroom, Severus transformed the bed into a couch. Then he sat there contemplating. Potter could have anyone he wanted, be it woman or man. The young man was famous. There was no one in the whole wizarding world that didn’t know Harry Potter. As much as he hated to admit, Potter was also pleasing in manner and appearance. And as the heir of Potter and Black, the young man got enough money to lead a comfortable life even without to work.

While there was no reason to like an old Potion’s Master who was lacking beauty or charm, he didn’t have any idea why that young man loved him and by what had been happening, desired him as well. Not to mention he was twice the young man’s age.

Severus himself wasn’t sure what had possessed him to accept Potter. Although it was real that he desired Potter physically, which he didn’t even know till today, he still didn’t have any feeling toward him. And if Potter really did love him, it wouldn’t be enough for the young man. Besides, despite what Potter had said, no one could tell how long the young man’s feeling would last.

 _He is still young, someday he might fall for someone else,_ Severus thought somberly.

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

After finished applying the salve, Harry put on a white shirt and a brown sweater over it. He also wore the baggiest pants because he was still aroused beyond belief.

 _Well, who wouldn’t?_ After all, he had just shared a hot kiss with the person who occupied the largest part of his mind.

Even though he was practically on cloud nine, he was also confused. There were so many questions swirling in his head. All of these events felt like Christmas Miracle; he could imagine wishing innocently to Father Christmas. _Dear Father, I’ve been good this year. May I ask for Severus Snape, please?_ Then again, he doubted that Father Christmas would ever dare to kidnap Severus and dropped him outside Harry’s apartment door.

Another option was that he might be dreaming or utterly mad; that was impossible because his shoulder and bum were throbbing painfully, reminding him that it was real. And he highly doubted that the man was only pulling a prank. _Severus wouldn’t go that far just to make me suffer._

Harry sighed loudly. It wouldn’t change anything by staying in the bathroom. He summoned all his courage and walked out from the bathroom. He found the man was sitting in the same black couch like yesterday. However Severus didn’t read a book right now. He was staring at Harry intently.

“Err-- Thanks for the salve,” said Harry, feeling flustered under Severus’s gaze.

Severus accepted the salve back without uttering any word. The man was looking at him with unreadable gaze.

“What’s wrong?” he asked cautiously.

After a few moments, Severus crossed his arms and said quietly, “Why me, Potter?”

Harry was silent as he pondered over this question. Why Severus? It was the same question he had asked to himself so many times before. Why him? The man looked very male in every aspect while, in retrospect, Harry only fell in love with a female. Ginny and Cho were enough proof for that.

And while Severus didn’t hate him as much as he did in the past, the man wasn’t the most pleasant companion. _Hell, if I ask any student in Hogwarts, I’ll get the same answer: Severus Snape is a git._ The man was nasty enough to make first years burst in tears. Harry certainly wasn’t blind to Severus’s faults, being the butt of the man’s malicious demeanor for years.

Harry was also sure that he wasn’t masochistic enough to fall for the man because he loved being humiliated or emotionally abused. _No, I actually hate it when he does that._

But if someone bothered enough to see past Severus’s spiteful shell, they would find a man that was precious enough to be treasured and loved. For Harry, his love for Severus wasn’t love at the first sight. It was a long process of understanding and knowing Severus.

At first, it was merely a sense of security. Harry realized after some time that the only reason that he was able to sleep in Severus’s bed was because he felt safe. Sure, Ron and Hermione would do anything for him but what he needed was someone that would be able to stop him.

He was already tainted by death and blood. It wasn’t surprising if one day he would be swallowed up by his own darkness. For being born, he had caused his parents to die. For surviving, he had caused Sirius and many others to die. The anger due to his misfortunes was always there, hidden just under the surface. It knew no enemy or friend, only sought to destroy everything on its path. But there was a reassurance that nothing would be destroyed because he believed Severus Snape would be there, strong enough to stop him before anything happened.

However, as he got closer to Severus, he began to see him not only as his last stronghold against darkness but also a friend, a very dear friend. His wicked sense of humor never failed to make him laugh. His quick wit amazed him. His loyalty and bravery were something that he admired. His quirks always amused him. Then before he realized, he started to treasure every single moment that he had spent with Severus. Slowly, it evolved into love until it reached to the point that he needed Severus like he needed air to breathe. Severus was simply irreplaceable so it was a necessity to protect and make him happy.

Harry couldn’t find a right way to express his feeling. He wanted Severus to understand but at the same time was afraid that he might drive the man away with the intensity of his feeling. So, he settled for simple words that were nothing compared to what he truly felt for the man.

“Because you are you,” said Harry earnestly.

Judging from the man expression, Harry knew Severus didn’t believe him.

 _He probably thinks that I’m lying_ , he sighed.

Severus narrowed his eyes at him, “Do you forget that you hated me before, Potter?”

 _No, I don’t._ Harry slowly shook his head but didn’t offer any words to him.

“James Potter and Sirius Black would turn in their grave right now,” said Severus mockingly. “Imagine, their precious heir is falling for Snivellus!”

Harry said calmly, “I’m the one who is in love with you, not them. So why should it matter?”

 _The only thing that matters is your wish! Even if they won’t approve, there is no force in this world that can push me to let you go!_

“And don’t--,” Harry frowned, disturbed that Severus referred to himself as ‘Snivellus’. “Don’t call yourself that!”

XxXxX

 **Severus’s POV**

Severus didn’t know whether he should call Potter naïve or stupid. There would be a roar if public knew that Potter was going out with him. Not to mention that many people around Potter disliked him.

But Potter’s next words made him stunned. Potter sounded like he was really mad on Severus’s behalf. No one had cared about his welfare before and somehow it made him pleased. The corners of Severus’s mouth slightly curved upward.

“Fancy yourself to be a saint, Potter?” mocked Severus.

Potter spluttered, flushing red, “I’m not!”

Severus continued to taunt the young man, “Or maybe you’re just compelled to be a savior all the time?”

Potter glowered at him, “No, I don’t! You! You’re evil! I just-”

“Oh, now I’m evil? Have I deflated your ego, Potter?” said Severus dryly.

Potter narrowed his eyes accusingly, “You just love to make me suffer!”

“You should be thankful to have someone to keep you from growing an even more swollen-headed,” said Severus with a smirk.

Potter let out a loud frustrated growl. Then he threw up his hands to the air and slumped into the couch. For the first time in his life, Severus felt like he wanted to laugh loudly. The young man’s action was highly amusing.

XxXxX

 **Harry’s POV**

Harry couldn’t believe that the man in front of him was the same man that had kissed him not so long ago. Severus was practically brimming with pleasure by seeing him suffer.

 _I always knew that he was a sadist! Does it mean that I’m a masochist_? He moaned inwardly. _Great! What a bloody unhealthy relationship!_

Harry buried his head into the couch, frustrated. It was likely impossible to make Severus to behave like a lover in general. _And I’m sure that he will curse me if I ask him that!_

There was another problem too. Severus had said that he desired him. But desire didn’t mean love. It was likely that Severus still loved his mother. Harry shook his head hard. _No, no! What the hell I’m worried about?! I’m the one that is with him right now, not my mother! What I have to do is take advantage of the opportunity as well as possible!_

Harry lifted his head and looked at Severus with determination.

“Thank you for giving me a chance. I promise you won’t regret it,” he said with a bright smile.

Severus looked bewildered. It seemed that the man didn’t expect Harry would thank him. Harry grinned from ear to ear. There was only one word to describe it. Cute!

But he would never say it out loud, knowing it would make Severus mad at him. He really shouldn’t push his luck because by what had happened today, he probably had used up all the luck he had in his whole life.

 **End of Chapter 7**

 **As you might have noticed, this fic is longer than usual. It’s a presents to you all. (A huge thanks to My Beta, Mirai Kurosaki for her fast work!!) I hope it won’t be too boring to read.. XDDD And Happy Christmas to you all! *hugs* As usual any review will be welcomed (very) warmly.. ^_^**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

 **Harry's POV**

Harry wasn't surprised by how quickly Severus dismissed the emotional event that had just happened. The man quickly regained his wit and barked at him to pack because they would leave for London tomorrow morning. However he had protested when he heard it. Mainly, it was because he wanted to spend time alone with the man. But Severus silenced him by reminding him about what would happen if Moody was left alone for too long at the Ministry.

Harry instantly went pale. Last time, he and Severus were busy with the Trial for Death Eaters. All office works were shifted to Moody. On the third day, they were bombarded by Ministry's employees Howlers that make their ears ringing for the rest of the day. Apparently, Moody had grown so paranoid that the old man did more harm than good.

Two unsuspecting workers from other department had been hexed so badly that they had to stay in St. Mungo's Hospital for a week while the rest of the Ministry's workers living in fear every day. Wondering who would be the next victim. Needless to say, Harry changed his mind and agreed to pack right away. It was one of the experiences that he wouldn't care to repeat.

Somehow despite of the holiday season, Severus was able to get flight tickets for them which made him suspicious that the man had planned this beforehand.

XxXxX

Several hours later, Harry was lying awake on his bed with same problem but different situation while the source of his problem was already sleeping soundly. He sighed softly. This was going to be a long night for him.

He turned to the other side of his bed, staring at Severus's back. The man's shoulder slightly hunched. He silently wondered how would if feel to wrap his hand around Severus's waist. Of course, their kiss was wonderful but it was far too short for him to relish the experience. He wanted to do **_more_.**

 _No,_ he debated to himself _. Severus had agreed to go out with him, no need to be greedy._

It was already better reaction than he could ever expect from Severus. After all, he was lucky to be still in one piece, given the man's extensive knowledge of Curses. He silently got out of bed, not wanting to wake the other man. Then he grabbed his coat and slipped out of the room.

XxXxX

 **Severus's POV**

As Severus woke up, he noticed that Potter's bed was empty. Severus abruptly threw the blanket aside then rose to his feet. An uneasy sense of foreboding gripped him tightly. He strode into the back room that the young man dubbed as the washing room, but the room was void of Potter. It was the same with the bathroom.

Severus frowned. _Did Potter run away again?_

But as he got out from the bathroom, he noticed the window on the dining room was slightly open. Severus walked over to the window then yanked it open. He stuck out his head out of the window. As he looked on the right side, the first thing he saw was a tuft of black hair jutted out from under a hood. There on the emergency stairs, Potter was sitting calmly with thick coat wrapped closely around the young man, staring on the rising sun with ridiculous smile on his face.

Severus scowled darkly. He felt like a fool to worry over Potter like this while actually the young man was only sitting outside of the apartment.

"Potter," called Severus, irritated.

Potter jumped from his seat and whipped his head to look at him. The young man’s green eyes widened with shock. Potter looked like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Severus narrowed his eyes, suspicious. _What the hell is Potter thinking about?_

Potter blushed guiltily as he replied, "Yeah?"

"Get ready, you dunderhead! We have plane to catch," snarled Severus.

"Err—Right," said Potter sheepishly.

Severus snorted then got inside without waiting for him.

XxXxX

 **Harry's POV**

They ate breakfast at the airport after they checked in. In the small, dingy restaurant, which was overcrowded, but they were lucky enough to get an empty table as soon as they got there. The food served was bland and greasy, but like other passengers, they have no choice but to spend their time there while waiting for the plane. Harry had ordered a Scrambled Egg-Bacon-Cheese Sandwich, while Severus like always only drank coffee for breakfast.

As Harry ate, he recalled recent events. He had spent all night sitting on the emergency stairs, shivering under his coat and talking to himself. A habit caused by being ignored by his relatives when he was a child. They had commonly treated him as if he was invisible.

The reason why he had chosen to sit outside in the cold was because he couldn't trust himself to not attack the sleeping man. The effects of Severus's kiss were more potent than any aphrodisiac, leaving him burning.

 _It is impossible to get any sleep if you have a boner,_ he thought as he stabbed on his bacon.

He also couldn't even masturbate for the fear of being caught by Severus. Besides, he doubted the problem would go away that easily since he practically shared the room with the man. He sighed. Being young was difficult, even the mere presence of the man was enough to make him instantly hard.

To spend an entire night by himself gave him time to ponder about many things. _Why did Severus accept him? Did Severus have feelings for him? If not, what he should do to make Severus love him?_

He was unsure on how to start wooing Severus Snape. For sure, he couldn't treat him like he treated Ginny. Flowers and chocolates were definitely out of options. First, Severus didn't like sweets and he never saw the man eating any chocolates. Second, he believed that Severus would like to get Magical Herbs rather than flowers. While he was often quite obtuse, he knew that giving someone Magical Herbs wouldn't be considered romantic.

He spent all night racking his brain to think of what would be and wouldn't be good ideas. And, when the sun had started rising, he was a bit hyper from the lack of sleep. Strange indeed, but he had got the feeling that everything was going to be alright as he stared at the golden light. He wasn't a religious man and never would be. But this time, he offered his prayer to whatever Deities out there so that from now on he and Severus would be inseparable. That was why he was so startled when said man suddenly called out to him. And for a moment, he thought he had said his wish out loud.

XxXxX

Harry turned his gaze to look at Severus who was sat in front of him. The man was drinking his coffee with a miserable expression.

"That bad?" asked Harry.

Severus snorted, "This isn't coffee, Potter, just _mud_ _black water_."

Harry chuckled as he put down his eating utensils, before washed away food remains in his throat by orange juice. While Severus put his coffee cup down without finishing it.

Harry looked at the old clock on the wall, "Shall we go now?"

Severus nodded curtly, seemed relieved to leave the restaurant.

XxXxX

 **Severus's POV**

They sat in the second row in the plane. Severus sat beside the window, while the young man sat on his right. Not long after they were seated, the plane took off. Potter flipped through the pages of the flight magazine, acting like he was really interested with it, but kept stealing a glance at him when he turned his head to the window. Severus ignored Potter's impudence and focused on the outside view. As far as he could see there were only thick dark clouds. It looked like a storm was coming. He frowned. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any delay.

However, one hour later, Severus was startled when something nudged his arm. He reflexively grabbed his wand from the pocket but restrained himself from pulling it out. He frowned and turned his head, only to find out that there wasn’t any danger. It was just Potter who had buried his face in Severus's arm. Potter was obviously asleep because he was lightly snoring.

When Severus tried to push him away, the young man wrapped his arms tightly around Severus's upper arm. Severus tried to pry Potter's arm from him to no avail. The young man's arms stuck to him tightly like tentacles.

 _Bugger!_ He scowled, _Potter!_

Severus shook the young man roughly. Instead of waking up, Potter made a distressed sound and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _, "Five more minutes, Aunt Petunia."_

He glared at Potter. _Blast it all!! I'm not going to babysit Potter!_

Severus sneered and about to shake the young man again when he heard shushing sound from the woman who sat beside Potter. The woman glared at him hotly while motioning to her child who was asleep beside her.

Severus glared back at the woman but didn't take any further action. He would love to ignore Potter. But it was very difficult to do with the warm breathing weight on his arm. Sometimes Potter would change his head position and nuzzled closer into his arm. Even when he was sleeping, Potter still had ways to make him annoyed.

 _You better not slobber all over me, Potter!_ He thought irritated.

XxXxX

 **Harry's POV**

Harry awakened roughly from his sleep when he felt his body suddenly propelled forward. If not because of something or in this case, someone holding his forehead, he would slam his face straight into other passenger seat in front of him. There was announcement from the loudspeaker about air turbulence.

Harry slowly recognized the owner of the said hand on his forehead. It was Severus’s hand. Taking a quick look, Harry noted there was a dark scowl set across the man’s face. He blinked. He mutely wondered what had made Severus’s mood so thunderous.

"Thanks," said Harry as he covered his mouth and yawned.

Severus quickly withdrew his hand. Harry felt a twinge of pain in his neck.

 _Ouch, did I sleep on the wrong side?_ He thought as he rubbed the left side of his neck.

Harry stretched his stiff joints then rubbed his eyes. A few seconds later, a woman voice announced to fasten their seat belt because the plan would land soon.

 _Merlin, it's going to land! That means I slept for the whole journey!_ He thought surprised.

Harry remembered that he had sat beside Severus and nervously peeked at the man as he battled the urge to hold Severus's hand. It was so tempting with said hand was leaning on the arm of aircraft seat. That was why he kept his hand on the magazine. But he didn't remember falling asleep.

 _Must be because I didn't sleep last night,_ he mused.

XxXxX

 **Severus's POV**

The airport was bustling with people. They walked quite a distance before finding a deserted corner to safely Disapparate without any muggle watching. Meanwhile, Potter looked fidgety and started to twiddle his thumbs together.

Severus raised an eyebrow at him, feeling impatient. He was tired and there were still so many things to do without Potter hindering him.

"Umm," Potter cleared his throat. "Are you going to go back to Hogwarts?"

"Where else do you think I will go, Potter?" replied Severus, his lip curling in displeasure.

"Err— See you tomorrow then?" said Potter, embarrassed.

 _He's wasting my time!_ Severus thought as he turned his back at Potter to Disapparate.

"Ah, wait!" called Potter.

"What, Potter?" snapped Severus.

"I—," said Potter.

"Spit it out, Potter! Unlike you, I don't have unlimited leisure time!" sneered Severus.

The young man blinked owlishly at him then grinned widely.

"OK," said Potter as he stepped forward, pressing his lips against Severus's.

"Bye, Severus," muttered Potter softly then disappeared with a loud crack.

Severus stood frozen. His cheeks instantly flushed with anger and embarrassment.

 _Pott—He…_ Severus let out a string of curses.

 _Bloody unbelievable brat!_ He thought as he rubbed his lips with the back of his hand harshly _. Has he no shame!!_

He never thought Potter would kiss him on public. It looked like he had to lay down some _rules_ about this relationship. Well, that was if he wasn't tempted to _strangle_ Potter the next time he met the young man.

 **End of Chapter 8**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to my new Beta, **Cazzylove**. Without her, I wouldn’t be able to continue this story, so Bless her ^_^ And also many thanks to my old Beta, **Mirai Kurosaki** , thank you for all your hard work dear. I couldn’t make it so far without you. To all readers, thank you for reading this story. As usual any review will be welcomed very warmly. XD


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

 **Harry's POV**

Harry Apparated onto the front steps outside Sirius's house. He tapped the door once, with his wand. Once the door swung open, he quickly walked inside and slammed the door shut. Then Harry raised his arms up and let out a whoop of triumph which he had been withhold since he left Severus.

 _Merlin, the look on Severus's face!_ He grinned widely. _The joy of dating!_

The man probably got mad at him again for the stolen kiss. He chuckled happily. _But it is so worth of it!_

Harry flicked the light on. Grimmauld Place looked tidier now. Hermione had sent Dobby to clean it up yesterday.

 _I have to get something for Dobby later,_ he thought gratefully.

He was humming cheerfully as he went to his bedroom.

XxXxX

After took a shower and put on clean clothes, he decided to visit Moody. After all if the man didn't insist Severus to persuade him to come home, it wouldn't end up like this. The man deserved his utmost thanks.

XxXxX

Harry stood in front of Moody's house and knocked loudly at the door. It was a small house in a muggle neighbourhood. Since it was winter holiday, it was more likely that the old man was in his own house instead of his quarters at Hogwarts; besides becoming his advisor, Alastor Moody also started teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts after Voldemort’s demise. He didn't have to wait for a long time to confirm that.

He was soon greeted by a familiar gruff voice from behind the door. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Professor Moody," said Harry.

There was a short silence before the old man continued his questions.

"The last words I spoke to Harry Potter before he left?" asked Moody.

Harry smiled a little, amused at the old man's antics. Mad-Eye Moody didn't change even a bit since he left. He was still as paranoid as ever.

He coughed into his hand to hide his smile then repeated Moody's favourite words, "Constant Vigilance."

There was a sound of the door being unlocked and it was opened wide a few seconds later. Moody's mismatched eyes were focused on him. The old man produced a harsh laugh.

"Ye really came back, lad!" growled Moody.

Harry smiled, "Yeah, sorry for taking such a long time, Professor."

"Don't call me that!" roared Moody.

Harry almost flinched when he heard the sudden outburst.

"Err-," said Harry nervously.

"I'm no longer your Professor, Potter," growled Mad-Eye. "And it makes me feel old!"

Harry fought down the urge to laugh. Of all excuse, it had to be that one.

"Then what should I call you?" asked Harry, smiling.

"Alastor, Moody, Mad-Eye, just pick one," barked Moody. "Come in, Potter! It's too risky to discuss anything here!"

Harry blinked at that comment, _Yep, he’s still good old Moody!_

Harry walked into Moody's house. This was the first time he ever visited the old man's house. It fulfilled his expectation or maybe even more. There were strange items here and there. Some of it was pretty intimidating and some was disgusting. It made him believe that it was infused with dark magic in it aka cursed items. It was better to keep his hand to himself.

Harry sat on the couch while Moody poured him some tea. He thanked him then accepted his cup. He took a little sip of it then stopped. It tasted bloody awful.

 _What the hell is this? Is it really a tea?_ He frowned, eyeing the contents suspiciously. _It's not going to give me a stomach-ache, is it?_

"Are you going to stay or go back _there_?" asked Moody, breaking the silence.

Moody’s normal eye was locked on Harry while magical eye spun around, making him a bit disoriented.

Harry blurted out confusedly, "Didn't you ask Severus to get me back here?"

Harry froze, silently berating himself for putting his foot in his mouth. _Great, you’re such an idiot!_ He didn’t mean to call Severus by his forename. As far as Moody knew, he wasn’t that close to Severus. Now he feared Moody’s reaction to that.

Moody sat down, staring at his own teacup pensively.

"No, I didn't. Snape got you back, eh?" he said quietly.

Harry felt relief washed over him when Moody completely missed his _accidental_ remark. Then after a few seconds, he blinked as Moody’s sentences finally dawned on him. _Now that I really think about it, no way Moody would ask Severus!_

Both of them regarded one another with certain animosity. They only tolerated each other at work. Harry smiled at the thought. It meant that for some unknown reason, Severus really did want him to come back.

 _Maybe he missed me,_ he grinned.

"It doesn't matter, here," said Harry cheerfully as he thrust a package toward Moody.

Moody looked at the package suspiciously.

"Don't worry, it's just a souvenir," said Harry, "I bought you a wand holder, consider it as a small token for all the works I had left to you."

"You don't have to get anything for me," growled Moody, "But thanks, lad!"

They talked a little bit about enrolment for new Aurors recruit. Harry agreed to discuss it with the Head of Aurors tomorrow. Then he excused himself, said about going to visit his friends.

XxXxX

The sun almost set when Harry stood before Ron and Hermione's house. The couple had acquired a small house not far from Hermione's parents. It was on a good neighbourhood. When he was heading there, he saw children playing happily in the park. He pushed on the bell's button. It rang a song that he didn't recognize. Hermione was the one that opened the door.

Harry briefly saw a blur of brown hair before he found himself suddenly caught in a tight hug that rendered him breathless, _literally_.

"'Mione! Can't breathe!" gasped Harry.

Hermione let him go then swatted him playfully. Harry grinned broadly at her. His friend didn’t change much except she looked more beautiful and happier now.

She examined him briefly then tutted with disapproval. "Oh, look at you! Thinner than ever!"

Harry chuckled and teased her about her future mother-in-law, "Careful, you begin to sound like Mrs. Weasley."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Come in, Harry."

Harry walked into the house and hung his coat in the rack. The living room has ivory-coloured walls and wood floor. The fireplace was burning low at the right temperature. He thought it was warm and cosy.

"Nice home!" praised Harry.

Hermione beamed brightly at him.

"You don't know how long it took me to convince Ron not to decorate it with red!" She shuddered. "Or orange!"

Harry laughed. He still remembered that Ron had decorated his room with "violent shade of orange", and posters of Chudley Cannons players covered nearly every inch of the walls. Ron was just as bad as him at choosing decent colour.

"By the way, where is Ron?" asked Harry curiously.

"He still on practice, but it will be finished soon," said Hermione, "He told me that he will go straight home."

 _Ah, home,_ he thought with a stab of jealously but quickly squashed the feeling.

He had no home, sure he got some place that resembled home but it wasn't his own. At some point of his life, he had dreamed to have his own home and family. _A wife and child,_ he thought. That was before he knew that he had a mad wizard on his back. Voldemort changed everything. But now he was free to do as he wished.

 _I'll start with getting a home on my own,_ he swore inwardly.

"Take a seat, Harry! Do you want tea or chocolate?" asked Hermione.

Harry grinned as he flung himself onto the couch, "Chocolate, please!"

After the incident with Moody's tea, he was in no mood for more tea. He noticed a large ginger cat with a squashed flat face and bottle-brush tail in front of the fireplace. The cat lazily lifted its head to stare at him.

"Hullo Crookshanks," he said to Hermione's cat.

Sirius once said that Crookshanks was the most intelligent cat that he ever met. This was probably because the cat was part Kneazle. Crookshanks gave Harry a haughty look then went back to nap after realized that Harry wasn't going to give him any treat.

Harry chuckled. It was amazing that a cat could make him feel like a peasant.

Hermione passed him the mug and said that she had to go back cooking. So if he wanted anything, she was in the kitchen.

"You cooking?" said Harry, alarmed, "Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Oh, ha-ha! Very funny!" She stabbed his chest with her index finger. "I'm a pretty decent cook now! You definitely have to stay for dinner!"

"Ouch, 'Mione that's hurt," he rubbed his chest dramatically.

She shook her head, amused then went back into the kitchen.

XxXxX

Harry turned on the TV and lounged lazily on the couch. He flipped through the channel without much interest while sipping on his chocolate. He was on channel 197 when there was a loud crack. Ron was back.

"Blimey, mate!!" shouted Ron, when the red haired man spotted him. "You didn't tell me that you were coming back!"

Harry had asked Hermione not to tell Ron. He wanted to surprise him.

He put the mug in the table then grinned, "Hi, Ron."

Ron took place beside him on the couch. Harry pinched his nose. The red haired man smelt like a sweat.

"Ew, Ron, you stinks! Don't get near me!" he scooted away from his best friend.

Ron grinned then trapped him in a hug.

"Ron!" growled Harry in protest.

He struggled to get away from the man. Ron wouldn't even budge. The red haired young man had transformed into a giant while he was away.

"HELP! 'MIONE! YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND IS MOLESTING ME!" he yelled to the kitchen's direction.

Hermione poked her head out of the kitchen door to find out what the commotion was about.

"Tut, tut, Ronniekins! Go take a bath! Dinner will be ready soon," said Hermione sternly.

Harry turned his face to Ron after the young man released his hold on him.

"Ronniekins?" choked Harry, his eyes widened with mirth.

Ron glared hotly at him. Harry burst out laughing, clutching his stomach.

 _"Ronniekins? Go take a bath!"_ he mimicked Hermione then continued laughing hysterically.

"Oy, shut it!" Ron kicked his foot hard then stomped angrily out of the room.

"Merlin! It's hilarious!" gasped Harry. "Ronniekins? 'Mione?"

Hermione grinned at him. "At least I didn't call him, Won-Won."

Harry remembered that Lavender had called Ron that when they were going out.

 _Payback, huh?_ He thought amusedly.

"Please remind me in the future not to cross swords with you," said Harry.

Hermione snorted, "Make yourself useful, and help me with the plates."

"Aye, aye, Ma'am," he gave a military salute.

Hermione rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen while Harry trailed behind her.

 **End of Chapter 9**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A huge thanks to my Beta, Cazzylove ^_^ And thank you to all readers for reading this story *hugs* I really hope you enjoy the interaction between Harry and his old acquaintances.. :D As usual, any review will be welcomed very warmly XD**


End file.
